Rachel: Honey, can you keep Dad occupied? I'm gonna talk to Mom for a while.
Ross: Okay. Do you have any ideas for any openers?
Rachel: Let's just stay clear of "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter" and you should be okay.

Ross: Hey. Where are you sneaking off to, mister?
Dr. Green: I'm getting my cigarettes.
Ross: No.
Dr. Green: No? What do you mean "no"?
Ross: No. See, because that's the staging area. You go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you, sir.
Dr. Green: Get my glasses too.
Ross: All righty-roo. [after closing the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time.

Phoebe: Oh, no! Did someone forget to use a coaster?
Monica: What?!
[Phoebe nods to Gunther who sneaks out of the apartment as Monica rushes to inspect the table]
Monica: I don't see anything.
Phoebe: Great, I'm seeing water rings again.

Phoebe: Welcome to the fu-
Monica: Phoebe.
Phoebe: All right, I'm sorry. But these people needed me. They work hard all week. It's Saturday night. They deserve to have a little fun. Go!

Rachel: You want me to see a therapist?
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart, you obviously have a problem. You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father.

Chandler: How you holding up there, tiger? Oh, sorry. When my parents were getting divorced, I got a lot of "tigers." I got a lot of "champs," "chiefs," "sports." I even got a "governor."

Rachel: I mean, I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other. All I kept thinking about was the Fourth of July.
Chandler: Because it reminded you of the way our forefathers used to bitch at each other?

Phoebe: Okay, Rachel, make a special flan wish.
Rachel: Okay, I've got one. [Rachel blows the candles out.]
Guy: Heads up! [A volleyball lands on the flan]
Rachel: Wow. Those things almost never come true.

Monica: So I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth. And since it's Rachel's birthday and we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon.
All: Ugh.
Monica: What?
Ross: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
Monica: You want to be in charge of the food committee?
Ross: Question 2. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?

Mrs. Green: Oh, the funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was driving-
Phoebe: [laughing] That's great! I can't wait to hear the rest, but I have to go to the bathroom. Hey, come with me.
Mrs. Green: What?
Phoebe: Yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals. You know, like at a restaurant. It'll be fun. Come on.