Rachel: So she's really not dead.
Mrs. Verhoeven: No. She's hanging in there.
Rachel: Do you think- Could you tell me, is she hanging in in a one-bedroom or a two?

Monica: She stole my jeans!
Chandler: What?
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them.
Chandler: So she stole your pants, and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
Monica: Don't you see? It's the perfect crime.
Chandler: She must have been planning this for years!

Phoebe: Oh, no, I have to go. I have a massage appointment.
Eric: No, stay here. We'll keep doing this. I'll pay you.
Phoebe: No, I've gotten in trouble for that before.

Chandler: She is not stealing from us. Will you let this go?
Monica: Fine. She's wearing my bra!
Chandler: Oh, dear God!
Monica: My pink flowered bra. I recognize the strap.
Chandler: And yet you don't recognize that you're crazy?

Monica: Come on, we're a team. We're in this together.
Chandler: I fear a jury will see it the same way.

Chandler: If it's not her bra, will you let the woman clean the apartment?
Monica: Yes. Absolutely, okay. Look, you'll know it's mine because on the right cup, the lacey part, there's a very noticeable rip.
Chandler: You need new clothes.

Chandler: Brenda, a bee!
Brenda: What?
Chandler: Yes, it's flown into your blouse and you better undo your buttons lest it sting you.
Brenda: I think I know what's going on here.
Chandler: You do?
Brenda: Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian ... but it's wrong. You're married.
Chandler: I totally understand.
Brenda: Okay, good.
Chandler: Could I just see your bra?

Monica: Where did you get those jeans?
Rachel: You gave them to me.
Monica: No, I didn't.
Rachel: All right, I took them. But I figured it'd be okay because you got a big ink stain on the crotch.
Monica: Oh, no. Did you take my bra too?
Rachel: What bra?
Monica: The pink one with the flowers.
Rachel: You mean the one you're wearing?
Brenda: I quit!
Monica: Sounds about right.

Joey: This is just to give you an idea. We can put screens so that the baby has privacy, and maybe a mobile over the crib and, oh look, here's a baby monitor which, until the baby comes, we can use as walkie-talkies.
Rachel: You're so sweet. Oh, my God. And you gave the baby Hugsy!
Joey: Uh... That's really just to show where the baby would go. You know, why don't I hold onto him so there's no confusion?

Rachel: Joey, the baby is gonna be crying. It's gonna be loud.
Joey: I'm loud.
Rachel: It's going to be up all night.
Joey: I'm up all night.
Rachel: It's going to poop.
Joey: Hello!