‘The One with the Sonogram at the End’
Season 1, Episode 2 - Aired September 29, 1994
Still getting over his divorce from Carol, Ross is shocked to learn she is pregnant with his child. Meanwhile, Monica struggles with the pressure of a visit from her and Ross's parents, in whose eyes he can do no wrong, and Rachel plucks up the courage to return Barry's engagement ring.
Quote from Jack Geller
Jack Geller: And I read read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God, our little "Harmonica" doesn't seem to have that problem.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: It's worse when you're twins.
Rachel: You're a twin?
Phoebe: We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven, career-type.
Joey: What does she do?
Phoebe: She's a waitress.
Quote from Ross
Susan: Oh, please, what's wrong with Helen?
Ross: Helen Geller? I don't think so.
Carol: Well, it's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Ross: Thank you.
Carol: No, I mean, it's not Geller.
Ross: What, it'll be Helen Willick?
Carol: No, actually, we talked about Helen Willick Bunch.
Ross: Wait a minute. Why is she in the title?
Susan: Because it's my baby too.
Ross: Really? I don't remember you making any sperm.
Susan: And we all know what a challenge that is.
Carol: Okay, you two, stop it.
Ross: No, she gets a credit. I'm in there too.
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: I know I had it this morning. I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with-
Chandler: Dinah?
Quote from Judy Geller
Judy Geller: Mmm. What's that curry taste?
Monica: Curry.
Judy Geller: [unconvincingly] Mmm.
Quote from Monica
Monica: I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?
Judy Geller: She just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking or food, or ... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you have a restaurant-
Monica: No, mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant.
Judy Geller: Well, they don't have to know that.
Quote from Monica
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish on my part, but were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off of me.
Quote from Ross
Ross: So, how's this all gonna work, when important decisions have to be made?
Carol: Give me a "for instance."
Ross: Well, I don't know. How about with the baby's name?
Carol: Marlon. If it's a boy. Minnie, if it's a girl.
Ross: As in "Mouse"?
Carol: As in my grandmother.
Ross: Still, you say "Minnie," you hear "Mouse."
Ross: How about- How about Julia?
Carol: Julia.
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Ross: It's funny, we agreed we'd spend our lives together. Things change. Roll with the punches.
Quote from Jack Geller
Jack Geller: They’re happy with what they have. Basically, they’re content. Like cows.
Ross: Cows, dad?
Jack Geller: She knows how much I like cows.
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: Oh, don't be mad.
Monica: You didn't.
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry.
Monica: I gave you one job!
Rachel: But look how straight those noodles are.
Chandler: You know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagna.
Monica: I just can't do it.
Chandler: Boys? We're going in.