Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you. I mean, you know, I'm- I'm not saying me, but- Maybe me. And you don't have to worry about glue-sniffing with me. Although, I do smell the occasional Magic Marker.

Phoebe: So If that's too weird for you and you want to leave, I totally understand. In fact, I'll close my eyes to make it less awkward. [Mike kisses Phoebe] You kissed me. You don't think I'm a total freak?
Mike: No. Well... Look, can I? Can I think you're a little weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also want to kiss you?
Phoebe: I guess so. Can I think it's cool that you kissed me and also want to kiss you again? And be a little concerned about the Magic Markers?
Mike: Definitely.

Chandler: Well, well, well. It must be 5:00 in Tulsa because it's "sex o'clock" in N.Y.C.!

Chandler: No, they don't.
Monica: Then why were you watching them and giving yourself a treat?
Chandler: Oh, my God! When you came in, I switched the channel. I was just watching regular porn.
Monica: Really?
Chandler: Yes. Just some good, old-fashioned, American, girl-on-girl action.

Joey: Ordinarily, I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken. Did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?
Phoebe: You know, maybe this is a wake-up call. You know, about your whole dating attitude.
You're in your 30s and you have never been in a long-term relationship. You go from woman to woman meaningless experience to meaningless experience. Never even worrying that it doesn't turn into something more serious.
Joey: You're right. I love my life! ... I actually did sleep with her.