Phoebe: So, all right, I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer than a month. Okay? I haven't had a real boyfriend. You know, if he can't handle it, then he can leave. Which he will.
And, you know, that's okay. So I'll just be alone forever. You know, all right. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. I'll go on walking tours with widows and lesbians.

Ross: You know, I really admire your whole dating attitude. It's so healthy. I'm always like, "Is this moving too fast? Is this moving too slow? Where's this going?"
Phoebe: Yeah. I know. You are a bit of a drama queen.

Mike: Phoebe. What's wrong?
Phoebe: Nothing. I'm excited about our date. Mike, this is Ross Geller. Ross, this is Mike-
Ross: Sorry, I didn't catch that.
Mike: It's Mike Hanigan.
Ross: Oh. Ross Geller.
Mike: Hey. So are you sure you're ready to go?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. How do I look?
Ross: Do you have a compact in your purse?
Phoebe: No.
Ross: You look great.

Joey: Have you talked to Chandler?
Monica: Yeah. He has to stay in Tulsa this weekend.
Joey: How come?
Monica: I don't know. He has to work. There's some big rush on the- Uh... Damn it. One of these days, I'm gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.

Joey: Hot? Not hot? Hot!
Hayley: Excuse me? I said that I think that you're hot. And now I'm embarrassed.
Hayley: Oh. I thought you said "hi."
Joey: That would've been better.

Ross: Now I feel terrible. This is all my fault.
Phoebe: You know what you should feel terrible about? This could have been my serious guy.
He was sweet and smart and funny. You know how hard it is to meet a guy like that?
Ross: We are a rare breed.

Ross: Hey, Mike. Sorry to just drop by like this. Can I come in?
Mike: Sure. Who are you?
Ross: I'm Ross. Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse? Yeah, I really, really need to talk to you about something.
Mike: Unless- You're not gonna try and get me to join a cult, are you?
Ross: No.
Mike: No, it's just, you know, you have that look.
Ross: Damn Supercuts!

Rachel: While watching sharks?
Monica: Yeah.
Rachel: Are you sure that's what he was doing?
Monica: You know how many times I've seen him jump up like that? Believe me, I know what he was doing.

Rachel: Man. Sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. You promised to love him no matter what.
Monica: "What" means, like, if he gets a disease or kills someone. Not if he gets his jollies to "Jaws."

Joey: I went out with this girl last night. Halfway through our date I realized I already slept with her.
Rachel: So basically you've slept with all the women in New York and now you're just going around again?