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The One with the Screamer

‘The One with the Screamer’

Season 3, Episode 22 - Aired April 24, 1997

Ross tries to convince Rachel that her date is an aggressive bully, but everybody thinks he's just jealous. Meanwhile, Phoebe spends days on hold with the phone company, and Joey is hurt when Kate gets a job in Los Angeles.

Quote from Joey

Joey: And so, I'm gonna get on this spaceship and I'm gonna go to Blaargon-7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, you'll be long gone but I won't have aged at all. So you tell your great, great granddaughter, to look me up. Because, Adrianne, baby, I'm gonna want to meet her.

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Quote from Joey

Kate: You know I gave up a part on a soap for this?
Joey: Yeah, I gave up a job too.
Kate: Really? What?
Joey: Declawing cats.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: It's been two days.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Good thing it's one of those 801 numbers.
Ross: Phoebe, 800 is toll free. 801 is Utah.
Phoebe: No, no, no. It has to be 800 because all those big companies have 800 numbers.
Every- Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one.
Rachel: Sorry.
Phoebe: Sorry. I'm so sorry. I will pay you back.
Chandler: And yet she's still not hanging up the phone.
Rachel: Hang up!
Ross: Hang up the phone!
Phoebe: Fine! Fine! Oh.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Well, I think I broke it. But that's all right. Here's the number where you can call.

Quote from Estelle

Estelle: Oh, you two girls were outstanding. Do they have representation?
Joey: They weren't in the play.
Rachel: We're not actors.
Estelle: What a shame. Because with her face and her chest, I could really put something together.
Chandler: Could I borrow it?

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: I can't believe no one believes me.
Phoebe: I do. I believe you.
Ross: You do, Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah. But I also believed her when she said I was next.

Quote from Joey

Kate: I just do this. I always have to pick, like, the smartest guy ... or the most talented guy. Why can't I just pick someone like you?
Joey: Thanks.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Oh, hey. You guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate. And I borrowed your cologne. I hope she likes it.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? She's seeing somebody.
Chandler: Yeah, and I don't have any cologne.
Joey: Green bottle next to the shaving cream.
Chandler: Oh, worm medicine for the duck.

Quote from Joey

Marshall Townend: "Joey Tribbiani gives an uneven performance. But Mr. Tribbiani is not the worst thing in this production."
Joey: Yes!

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, tell you what, let me walk you home. We'll stop by every newsstand and burn every copy of The Times and The Post.
Kate: Why The Post?
Joey: You didn't see The Post?
Kate: No. You?
Joey: No.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: No, Rachel. That's what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow. If I don't get through they're not going to fix my crappy, broken phone for free. We cannot let them win. It's us versus them!
Chandler: Yes!

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