‘The One with the Hypnosis Tape’
Season 3, Episode 18 - Aired March 13, 1997
Rachel buys Chandler a hypnosis tape to get him to stop smoking. Meanwhile, Monica is asked out by a customer at the diner, and Phoebe freaks out when her 18-year-old brother announces he's marrying an older woman.
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: Hey, how are those tapes working out for you?
Chandler: Pretty good.
Rachel: Good.
Chandler: I haven't smoked yet today. I feel great and confident that is a stunning blouse.
Quote from Ross
Phoebe: You're Frank's best man?!
Joey: I couldn't help it. Their love is so pure.
Phoebe: Well, what about you, huh?
Ross: I'm the ring bearer.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Seriously what is this supposed to mean?
Pete: Well, you know, I never know how much to tip.
Monica: You're supposed to double the tax, not double the tax of Romania.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Now, is that enough lira?
Pete: Uh, I'd throw another thousand on that.
Monica: Well, how much is that?
Pete: That's about 60 cents.
Quote from Chandler
Recorded Female Voice: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper, deeper, deeper. You are now completely asleep. You don't need to smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Pete, can I get you something else?
Pete: I'll have a slice of cheesecake and a date, if you're giving them out.
Monica: Heh. Haven't you and I covered that topic?
Pete: Come on. You just said to her-
Monica: You only want to go out with me because of my wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Pete: Well, if that were true, I'd be dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out, it was just plain awkward.
Quote from Phoebe
Frank: Alice, uh she, uh, called it off.
Phoebe: Oh, no. Did- Did she say why?
Frank: Uh, no, not really. Just that I was too young, you know. But I don't see how I could all of a sudden be too young, 'cause I'm older than I was when we first got together.
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: All right. Forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bathe in the sweat of six healthy young men.
Chandler: Or what my father calls Thursday night.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Okay, okay, just because he buys you dinner does not mean you owe him anything.
Monica: Okay.
Chandler: Okay, then get the lobster.
Quote from Joey
[Joey laughing]
Monica: What's so funny?
Joey: Oh, nothing. It's an acting exercise. I'm practicing my fake laugh.
Monica: Oh. [LAUGHING]
Joey: What? What's so funny?