Charlie: So I am just so excited to be here. I can't wait to start exploring the city.
Joey: Well, if you need a tour guide.
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun.
Joey: Oh, yeah, definitely. Definitely. Okay. What do you want to see first?
Charlie: Well, we could go see the Kronos Quartet at Avery Fisher Hall.
Joey: Okay.
Charlie: And, oh, there's a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
Joey: I know.
Charlie: But first, I have to see the Met.
Joey: Okay, let me stop you right there. The Mets suck, okay? You wanna see the Yankees.
Charlie: No. No, not the Mets. The Met. Singular.
Joey: Which one? They all suck.
Charlie: The museum.
Joey: I don't think so.

Receptionist: Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room.
Phoebe: Okay. Do we have to talk like that when they're not around?

Phoebe: That woman can't know that I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful these massage chains are.
Receptionist: Then why do you work here?
Phoebe: Because it's good money. But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil, bloodsucking corporate machine.
Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work.
Phoebe: [whispers] Okay, are they listening?

Joey: Look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, funny, her body is so-
Ross: Get to the problem.
Joey: Right. She's just so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated. Combined. You know? And I just I don't want her to think I'm stupid.
Ross: Are you wearing two belts?
Joey: Hey, what do you know?

Ross: Oh, you should take her to the Met.
Joey: The Mets.
Ross: No, no, no. The Met. The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Joey: Oh, that's what she meant. You know what, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the "Muse," you know? Short for "museum" and avoid all the confusion.
Ross: Yeah, most days the place is packed with confused, angry baseball fans.

Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. How do I know they won't secretly videotape me and put it all over the Internet?
Monica: Because, honey, and I mean this in the sweetest way possible nobody's gonna wanna watch that.

Janice: [laughing] How great is this?
Monica: Eh. We're probably fertile. Let's go home.

Chandler: Why are you here?
Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently-
Chandler: No, no, no. I mean, why? Why is she here?

Monica: This was fun. But I've got an invasive vaginal exam to get to.

Chandler: I'd love to stay but I've got a hot date.
Janice: Please go. Just let me know if you need a hand. [laughs]
Chandler: I think it just fell off.