Chandler: Okay, so just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Joey: That's the rule.
Chandler: What rule? There's no rule. if anything, you owe me a table.
Joey: How did you get there?
Chandler: Well, I believe this piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delveccio.
Joey: You knew about that?
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.

Rachel: I can't believe you don't wanna know. I couldn't not know. If the doctor knows, Carol and Susan knows-
Monica: And Monica knows.
Ross: How could you know? I don't even know.
Monica: Carol called to thank me for the lasagna. I asked. She told me.
Joey: So what's it gonna be? [Monica whispers in Joey's ear.]
Ross: Oh, great! Now he knows.
Monica: I'm sorry. l'm just excited about being an aunt.
Joey: Or an uncle!

Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Ross: Yep. You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I could find my way out of there like that!
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool. It says in some parts of the world people actually eat the placenta.
Chandler: And we're done with the yogurt.

Carol:The sex of the baby, Ross.
Ross: Oh. You know the sex of the baby?
Carol: So, do you want to know?
Ross: No. I don't want to know. Absolutely not. You shouldn't know until you look down there and see, "Oh, there it is." Or isn't.

Phoebe: And all of a sudden, his hands weren't the problem anymore.
Monica: Was it..?
Phoebe: Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under there.

Chandler: Fine. What about the birds?
Joey: I don't know. Birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here. Eat something."

Rachel: Why have I never tasted these before?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot, because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.
Rachel: God. Well, you're right. These are the best oatmeal raisin cookies that I've ever had.
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Rachel: I guess you don't.

Rachel: I mean, we are way past the "fling" thing. I'm feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steel books.

Joey: Hey, Ross, listen. Do you know that right now your baby is only this big? This is your baby." [holding two fingers a couple of inches apart, moving them as he talks] "Hi, Daddy."
Ross: Hello.
Joey: "How come you don't live with Mommy? How come Mommy lives with that other lady? What's a lesbian?"

Carol: Don't you wanna know about the sex?
Ross: The sex? I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together. But when you throw in Tanya.
Carol: The sex of the baby, Ross.