Phoebe: It's just I have like no family left. Well, except for my grandmother. But let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever. Despite what she says.

Phoebe: But he did have to have a bunch of stitches. And he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back. So still hoping.

Mrs. Buffay: What are these, stitches?
Phoebe: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. [laughs] You know, if it's raining, you can't let him look up because that cone will fill up really fast.

Frank Buffay, Jr.: Hey, lady. Hey, wait up. How do you know my dad?
Phoebe: Well, I don't really. Just genetically. He's kind of my dad too.
Frank Buffay, Jr.: Heavy.
Phoebe: So did he ever talk about me? Phoebe?
Frank Buffay, Jr.: No, but he didn't really talk about anything. Except stilts.
Phoebe: Stilts?
Frank Buffay, Jr.: Yeah, he loved stilts. This one time, I was upstairs stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse and all of a sudden I look over and there's Dad's head, bobbing past the window. He just had this big smile on his face and he was waving because he was happiest when he was on his stilts.
Phoebe: I don't know what to do with that.
Frank Buffay, Jr.: Me neither.

Frank Buffay, Jr.: So are you, like, my big sister? This is huge. You can buy me beer.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool, though? If you had a friend named Pete, I could say "Oh, yeah, I know Pete. He's friends with my brother."
Frank Buffay, Jr.: I got a friend named Mark.
Phoebe: That'll work too.

Rachel: Who wants the last hamburger?
Phoebe: Okay, that's it. Now I have to go see him.
Monica: Why?
Phoebe: Hamburger? McDonald's? Old McDonald had a farm. My dad is a pharmacist.
Chandler: And E-I-E-I-O is what your mom said when your dad left her.
Phoebe: Yes!
Chandler: Really?
Phoebe: No.

Chandler: Man, I am so beat. You wanna forget racquetball and just hang out?
Ross: Yeah, all right.
Carl: Hey, you're in our seats.
Ross: Oh. Sorry, we didn't know.
Arthur: Hey, we were sitting there.
Chandler: Okay. There is one more way to say it. Who knows it?
Arthur: Was that supposed to be funny?
Chandler: No, actually, I was just going for colorful.

Ross: I say you and I go and stand up to those guys.
Chandler: All right, hang on a second there, Custer.
Joey: Really, Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Joey: By someone besides Monica?
Ross: No. So what? So what if we get beaten up. Maybe that's just something a man has to go through once in his life. Like a rite of passage or something.
Chandler: Well, couldn't we just lose our virginities again? You know, because I think actually mine's growing back.

Monica: I need to borrow $100.
Rachel: What?
Monica: Hi. Welcome home. I need to borrow $100.
Rachel: For what?
Monica: I need to get back in the game.
Rachel: Why? When did you get out?
Monica: Oh, I lost it all, okay. I lost it.
Rachel: Oh, no.
Monica: Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to, too.
Rachel: Okay. Look, Mon, I'm really sorry.
Monica: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where are we on the $100?
Rachel: I don't have it.
Monica: But I need it! Otherwise, I'll have to take that diner job. You know, with the dancing and the costumes. I don't want to have to wear flame-retardant boobs.
Rachel: Nobody does, honey.

Frank Buffay, Jr.: So maybe, you know, I could give you a call sometime. We could talk or something.
Phoebe: Yeah, that'd be okay.
Frank Buffay, Jr.: All right.
Phoebe: I'm in the book. So stilts, huh?
Frank Buffay, Jr.: Yeah. Hey, if you want, I can take you round back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.
Phoebe: Okay.