‘The One with the Breast Milk’
Season 2, Episode 2 - Aired September 28, 1995
Despite criticising Chandler and Joey for being uncomfortable around Carol as she breast-fed Ben, Ross is freaked out when Phoebe tastes Carol's breast milk. Meanwhile, Rachel feels betrayed when Monica spends time with Ross's new girlfriend, Julie, while Joey faces competition at work when a new cologne spritzer moves in on his area.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: You guys, I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me. But I love you guys too!
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: You know, it's. [sees Carol breast feeding] Something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back.
Quote from Rachel
Julie: Oh, you're losing your apron. Here let me get it for you. There you go.
Rachel: Thank you. [after Julie goes] What a bitch!
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: We were shopping and we had lunch.
Phoebe: All right. What did I have?
Monica: You had a salad.
Phoebe: Oh. No wonder I don't feel full.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: Hi, guys. What's up?
Phoebe: I went shopping with Monica all day and I had a salad.
Rachel: Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy?
Phoebe: Uhm, we went shopping for, uhm. For. Fur. For fur.
Rachel: You went shopping for fur?
Phoebe: Yeah. And then I realized that l'm against that. And, so, then we bought some. [Monica gestures to her breasts] Boobs.
Rachel: You bought boobs?
Phoebe: [Monica pulls out her bra strap] Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.
Quote from Ross
Carol: And this is Funny Clown. It's only for after his naps, not before, or he won't sleep.
Ross: Carol, we've been through this before. We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Ben, dinner!
Ross: Thanks, Aunt Pheebs. You didn't microwave that, did you? Because it's breast milk and you're not supposed to do that.
Phoebe: Duh. I think I know how to heat breast milk.
Quote from Ross
Chandler: What did you just do?
Phoebe: I licked my arm, what?
Ross: It's breast milk!
Phoebe: So?
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice squeezed from a person.
Joey: What is the big deal? [Joey takes the bottle, squeezes some on to his arm and licks it]
Chandler: What did you just do?
Ross: Okay, can people stop drinking the breast milk?
Phoebe: You won't even taste it?
Ross: No.
Phoebe: Not even if you just pretend it's milk?
Ross: Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.
Quote from Monica
Rachel: Monica, what's with you? Who did you have lunch with?
Monica: Judy.
Rachel: Who?
Monica: Julie.
Rachel: What?
Monica: Jody.
Quote from Chandler
[Joey enters the apartment wearing a white cowboy costume]
Chandler: Howdy.
Joey: Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
Chandler: Maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.