Chandler: We are not signing those papers.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: It's wrong. They made a mistake. They think we're somebody else.
Monica: God works in mysterious ways.
Chandler: You have got to stop.

Monica: But she liked us.
Chandler: She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica.
Monica: If you think about it, I'm kind of like a reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God by feeding the hungry and poor.
Chandler: Your veal chop is 34.95!

Sarah: Those fries look delicious.
Joey: I didn't know you liked French fries. Help yourself. What's mine is yours.
Sarah: Wow, are those stuffed clams?
Joey: Yes, they are my stuffed clams. How about those fries, though, huh?
Sarah: They are delicious.
Joey: Yeah. You are beautiful, you know that?
Sarah: That is so sweet.
Joey: Okay, then. Now look what you did!
Sarah: What? What is the matter with you?
Joey: I don't like it when people take food off of my plate, okay?
Sarah: But you just said, "What's mine is yours."
Joey: Well, I didn't mean it!

Sarah: Fine. Sorry, I didn't think it was that big a deal.
Joey: No, I'm sorry. I- I'm overreacting, okay? It's just, when it comes to food, I have certain rules okay? I mean there are things you do, and, you know, things that you don't do. [Joey picks his plate up from the floor, blows a clam down and takes a bite]

Sarah: Oh, my God. Mmm.
Joey: All right, I'll just have what she's having.
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. That was our last piece.
Sarah: Oh, no. This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me?
Joey: Yeah, sure. No problem.
Sarah: What are you doing? I thought you don't share food?
Joey: Sure I do. Coulis?
Sarah: No. If I can't have your clams, you can't have my dessert. This is a two-way street.
Joey: [laughs] Really?
Sarah: Really. Now this all better be here when I come back.
Joey: Yeah, of course. I can control myself.
[later:]
Joey: [to the dessert] Stop staring at me! Just a tiny little taste- Uh-oh.
[Sarah returns:]
Joey: I'm not even sorry.

Erica: So who are you?
Chandler: Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York.
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us is how much we would care for this little baby.
Erica: So you lied to me before?
Monica: Well, we "bore false witness." See? I could be a reverend.

Chandler: You still want that baby?
Monica: God bless you, Chandler Bing!

Chandler: So the fact that I'm a doctor and my wife's a reverend, that's important to you?
Erica: Yeah. I read some great applications but I thought, "Who better than a minister to raise a child?"
Monica: Amen.
Erica: Plus, I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor.
Monica: Oh, good hands. Healing hands.
Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the Bible say anything about adoption?
Monica: It says, "Do it." "And behold, she did adopt unto them a baby. And it was good."
Erica: Wow.
Chandler: Yeah, wow.

Chandler: We're just here to say goodbye. We're off to Ohio.
Phoebe: Oh, right, your adoption interview.
Monica: Yep. We're going to meet the lady who could be carrying our baby.
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're going to have a baby. That is so weird.
Chandler: And so incorrect.
Monica: She's only a few months pregnant. She liked our application but who knows whether she's gonna like us.
Ross: Come on, she's gonna love you guys.
Chandler: Thank you. But we're really trying not to get our hopes up.
Monica: A lot could still get in our way.
Chandler: Yeah, this girl could still decide against adoption, she could like another couple better-
Phoebe: What are you gonna name the baby?
Chandler: I could develop a condition in which I talk and talk and no one hears a word.

Joey: But just think, okay? What if everything goes right? What if this woman does pick you guys?
Monica: Oh, my God. She's gonna pick us.
Chandler: So we're standing firm on "not getting our hopes up"?
Monica: No. I know that things could still go wrong, but if they don't if this works out, we're gonna have a baby, Chandler. A baby!
Chandler: Yes. But-
Monica: Oh, my God. It's gonna work! We're gonna make it work. I'm gonna be a mommy, and you're gonna be a daddy. All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna go get me a baby!
Chandler: Screw it. I'm gonna be a daddy!