‘The One with the Baby Shower’
Season 8, Episode 20 - Aired April 25, 2002
Monica and Phoebe throw Rachel a baby shower and only realize at the last moment that they forgot to invite Rachel's mother. Monica is desperate to make things up to Mrs. Green, who shows no signs of forgiveness. Meanwhile, Chandler and Ross help Joey prepare for an audition for a game show.
Quote from Monica
Mrs. Green: No, dear. That's what babies do.
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Quote from Rachel
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while you're trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Rachel: I don't know. I'd leave it on the changing table?
[all gasp]
Rachel: What? What did I do? What did I do?
Mrs. Green: You can't leave a baby alone.
Rachel: Of course, I know that. I mean, of course you never leave a baby alone. I mean, it would- She wouldn't be safe. Not as safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Okay, you know what? Opening the presents is a little overwhelming right now. So I think I'm gonna maybe open them all a little bit later. But thank you all for coming, and for these beautiful gifts and this basket is beautiful.
Guest: It's actually a bassinet.
Rachel: Okay, Mommy, don't ever leave me.
Quote from Ross
Phoebe: Why are you all red and sweaty?
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! Which is not a sexual thing.
Quote from Phoebe
Ross: Well, that was a quick shower.
Phoebe: Not if you were here.
Quote from Ross
Ross: You're not serious. I mean, she's a very nice woman, but we can't take eight weeks of her.
She'll drive us crazy-
Mrs. Green: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Hey, roomie.
Quote from Ross
Rachel: Look, when you first came to the city, you were this spoiled, helpless little girl who still used Daddy's credit cards. Remember?
Rachel: I hope you're going somewhere with this.
Ross: Look at you. You're this big executive. You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I have no doubt you're gonna be an incredible mother.
Quote from Mrs. Green
Monica: [on the phone] I’m sorry for everything, really. I mean, there’s a lot of planning in a baby shower. I mean, you know, things get over-looked and… Phoebe’s mother killed herself.
Mrs. Green: Why? Did you forget to invite her too?
Quote from Joey
Joey: The problem, this game is really complicated.
Ross: Oh, come on. You said the same thing about Hungry Hungry Hippos, and last week you beat Ben.
Joey: Yeah, I have to be honest with you guys. He kinda let me win.
Quote from Mrs. Green
Mrs. Green: So, I thought we'd put the changing station in the living room. And I thought I'd bring in my decorator, because, you know, I really feel like I'm at my best when I'm surrounded by jewel tones.
Ross: Sure, who doesn't?
Quote from Ross
Ross: Looks like we got some good stuff.
Rachel: We did, but my mom got us the greatest gift of all.
Ross: A Play-Doh Barbershop?