Rachel: Enough about me, Mr. Back From The Orient! Come on, I wanna hear everything! Everything!
Ross: Well, where do I start? Uh, well, this is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Hi. Uh, these are - These are aren't for you. These are for you. [speaking loudly] Welcome to our country.
Julie: [speaking loudly] Thank you. I'm from New York.
Rachel: Well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding.

Ross: Hey, Rach, can I get some coffee?
Ross: Sure.
Chandler: Hey, Rach-
Rachel: Did you talk to him yet?
Chandler: No.
Rachel: Then, no.

Chandler: What the hell happened to you in China? When last we left you, you were in love with, you know.
Ross: I know. I know I was. But there was always this little voice inside that kept saying: "It's never gonna happen. Move on." You know whose voice that was?
Chandler: God?
Ross: It was you, pal.
Chandler: Well, maybe it was God doing me.
Ross: You were right. She looks at me and sees a friend. That's all. And then I met Julie and, I don't know, we're having a great time. And I have to say I never would have gone for it, if it hadn't been for you.
Chandler: Well, you owe me one, big guy.

Rachel: So what did you find out?
Chandler: He said- He said- He said they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made this decision all by himself without any outside help whatsoever.
Rachel: How is that a silver lining?
Chandler: You have to really wanna see it.

Chandler: Anybody know a good tailor?
Joey: You need clothes altered?
Chandler: No, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.

Monica: How did this happen? I kind of ran into him last night.
Monica: Where?
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
Joey: And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Rachel: Oh, God, I know. I'm pathetic, I'm a loser.
Monica: Honey, you're not pathetic. You're just sad.
Chandler: I mean, people do stupid things when they're upset.
Monica: My God, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't- But this is about your horrible mistake.

Frankie: How long do you want the cuffs?
Chandler: Well, at least as long as I have the pants.

Chandler: Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man!
Joey: Frankie? What are you talking about?
Ross: Hey, what's going on?
Chandler: Joey's tailor took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Chandler: Oh, come on. He said he was gonna do my inseam. Then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite-
Ross: What?
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over. Then they go up the other side, move it back, and then they do the rear.
Joey: What? Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes, it is. In prison!

Julie: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, like Andie MacDowell's haircut.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, I could do that.
Julie: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah, you wanna do it now?
Julie: Okay, great!
Phoebe: [to Rachel] Okay, I just wanna make really sure this time. Andie MacDowell is the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Rachel: No. That's Roddy McDowall. Andie MacDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Rachel: You're welcome.

Rachel: How is she?
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Ross: How's the hair?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross. It doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Joey: Well, can we see her?
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good. I think it upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in?