‘The One with Ross's New Girlfriend’
Season 2, Episode 1 - Aired September 21, 1995
After working up the courage to tell him how she feels about him, Rachel struggles to deal with the fact Ross has returned from his trip to China with a new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Monica takes issue with her new hairdresser, Phoebe, and Chandler feels violated by Joey's tailor.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Here's your lemonade.
Ross: I didn't order lemonade.
Rachel: Oh, well, then you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Ross: But?
Rachel: Go, go, go! Come one.
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: So what did you find out?
Chandler: He said- He said- He said they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made this decision all by himself without any outside help whatsoever.
Rachel: How is that a silver lining?
Chandler: You have to really wanna see it.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Hey, Pheebs. You know what I'm thinking?
Phoebe: Oh, okay. How it's been so long since you've had sex that you're wondering if they've changed it?
Monica: No. Although now that's what I'm thinking.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Anybody know a good tailor?
Joey: You need clothes altered?
Chandler: No, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: Okay, bye. That is so sweet. Okay. No, you hang up. No, you- One, two, three. Well, you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: She didn't hang up.
Ross: No, you hang up. You. You.
Rachel: [Rachel grabs the phone and hangs up.] Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Quote from Monica
Monica: How did this happen? I kind of ran into him last night.
Monica: Where?
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
Joey: And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Rachel: Oh, God, I know. I'm pathetic, I'm a loser.
Monica: Honey, you're not pathetic. You're just sad.
Chandler: I mean, people do stupid things when they're upset.
Monica: My God, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't- But this is about your horrible mistake.
Quote from Chandler
Frankie: How long do you want the cuffs?
Chandler: Well, at least as long as I have the pants.
Quote from Ross
Chandler: Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man!
Joey: Frankie? What are you talking about?
Ross: Hey, what's going on?
Chandler: Joey's tailor took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Chandler: Oh, come on. He said he was gonna do my inseam. Then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite-
Ross: What?
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over. Then they go up the other side, move it back, and then they do the rear.
Joey: What? Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes, it is. In prison!
Quote from Rachel
Julie: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, like Andie MacDowell's haircut.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, I could do that.
Julie: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah, you wanna do it now?
Julie: Okay, great!
Phoebe: [to Rachel] Okay, I just wanna make really sure this time. Andie MacDowell is the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Rachel: No. That's Roddy McDowall. Andie MacDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Rachel: You're welcome.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: How is she?
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Ross: How's the hair?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross. It doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Joey: Well, can we see her?
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good. I think it upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in?