‘The One with Rachel's Other Sister’
Season 9, Episode 8 - Aired November 21, 2002
Rachel's self-obsessed sister Amy joins the group for Thanksgiving dinner and starts a debate over who would get Emma if Ross and Rachel were to die. Meanwhile, Phoebe helps Joey come up with a lie for why he was missing from the Days of our Lives float, and Monica is anxious about using the fancy wedding china.
Quote from Amy
Ross: Hey, Amy.
Rachel: Amy, you remember Ross?
Amy: Not really. But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date.
Ross: That was me.
Amy: No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her since, like, the ninth grade.
Ross: Still me.
Amy: No, I'm not talking about you. It was your fat friend's brother with that bad Afro.
Ross: Okay, Amy, I'm gonna save you some time, okay? All me!
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Ross: No, that is not what we're saying.
Joey: Yeah, he's lying. He looked down.
Chandler: Well, what's wrong with me? Am I incompetent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
Quote from Joey
Joey: Wow. The parade is really good this year. Man, those horses can crap.
TV Announcer: Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, Oklahoma.
Chandler: Muskogee? That's like four hours from Tulsa! Woo-hoo.
TV Announcer: And here's the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of our Lives.
Joey: Oh, my God!
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap "Days of our Lives"?
Joey: Yeah. I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this down on my arm. [Chandler rolls up Joey's sleeve] Oh, stupid long sleeves.
Chandler: What are you gonna do?
Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a pretty good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are gonna be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said: "Everyone has to be there, 6 a.m. Sharp. That means you, Tribbiani." Like I was some kind of idiot.
Chandler: Well, you proved them wrong.
Joey: Yeah.
Quote from Rachel
Amy: [knocking] Hello? Rachel?
Rachel: Who is it?
Amy: It's your favorite sister.
Rachel: Jill?
Amy: Amy.
Rachel: [to Ross] Hide my rings.
Quote from Amy
Amy: Oh, my God. Is this Emmett?
Rachel: It's Emma.
Amy: It's a girl?
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Careful. Careful. Careful!
Chandler: I'll tell you what. For the rest of our lives I'll be careful until told otherwise.
Quote from Joey
Joey: No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Phoebe: Ooh. Honey, you stink at lying.
Joey: I do not.
Phoebe: Oh, really? Let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffeehouse I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it?
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse and a raccoon came running in and went straight for your muffin. I said: "Hey, don't eat that. That's Phoebe's." And he said- He said, "Joey, you stink at lying."
Quote from Joey
Phoebe: What was the work thing? [Joey rolls up his sleeve] "Pick up Grandma at the airport."
Joey: Oh, man!
Quote from Amy
Amy: Hello? Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs?
Ross: Sure. We don't live there, but...
Amy: Seriously? It's just these rooms? I thought you were a doctor.
Rachel: Yeah. No, Ross has a Ph.D.
Amy: Ew!
Quote from Amy
Amy: Stupid Thanksgiving.
Rachel: What? What? What happened?
Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean, I finally find a real relationship. Someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, it's almost not even worth dating married guys.
Ross: Don't say that.