‘The One with Rachel's Book’
Season 7, Episode 2 - Aired October 12, 2000
Monica is dejected when she learns that her parents have spent her wedding fund. Meanwhile, Joey finds an erotic novel that Rachel is reading, and Phoebe temporarily moves into Ross's apartment.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Ow.
Chandler: What's the matter, honey?
Monica: I don't know. My hand feels weird. I guess it's because I'm engaged! How long before that starts getting annoying?
Phoebe: Starts?
Quote from Phoebe
Chandler: What in God's name is that?
Ross: Oh, my God, the wedding book? I haven't seen that since 4th grade.
Monica: This baby has got everything. Take, you know, locations, for instance: First organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.
Phoebe: That is so smart. [to Chandler] Break it off. Ahem. Break it off, now.
Quote from Ross
Ross: And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Okay, I haven't cleared the budget with my parents but tell me how this sounds for music. A string quartet for the processional, a jazz trio for cocktails, and the Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was for my 6th grade wedding.
Chandler: Well, you couldn't get them anyway. I mean, Ian doesn't play anymore, and Derek... Well, Derek is a name I shouldn't know.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Of course you can look at it. Yeah, I want your opinion too.
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: Here you go. What do you think about the centerpieces
Chandler: Centerpieces.
Monica: Yeah. Roses or lilies?
Chandler: Definitely roses. [Monica and Rachel look at each other] Well, I just think they're a little bit more "wedding-y." [Monica pushes the picture of the lilies towards Chandler] But lilies are the clear choice.
Monica: Oh, my God, it's like one mind.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Quote from Phoebe
Ross: Uh, Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, hi.
Ross: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: I'm sorry. I'm with a client right now.
Ross: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Okay, let's talk outside.
Ross: Phoebe, you can't massage people in my apartment.
Phoebe: What's the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandler's.
Ross: And they knew about it?
Phoebe: Okay, look, Ross, what is this really about?
Quote from Joey
Rachel: Hey, Joey. What are you doing?
Joey: Sweeping. Why? Does it turn you on?
Rachel: No.
Joey: What if I was sweeping a chimney?
Rachel: Joey, did you eat my face cream?
Joey: Where are you going? The vicar won't be home for hours.
Rachel: Joey, where did you learn that word?
Joey: Where do you think, Zelda?
Rachel: You found my book?
Joey: Yeah, I did!
Quote from Judy Geller
Jack Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Chandler: Oh, I don't think I've ever heard that story.
Monica: Oh, Dad, you don't really-
Jack Geller: Well, I'd gotten Judy pregnant. I still don't know how that happened.
Judy Geller: You don't know how that happened? Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy.
Quote from Jack Geller
Chandler: What a sweet story.
Monica: Well, at least you're not hearing it for the first time at your 5th grade Halloween party.
Jack Geller: What? They wanted a scary story.
Quote from Jack Geller
Monica: You still have the Monica wedding fund, don't you?
Jack Geller: We have it. Only now we call it "the beach house."