Joey: So he can't come?
Phoebe: No. And so there's no one to walk me down the aisle. And- Well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Joey: Seriously?
Phoebe: Yeah. You've, you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom.
Joey: I am pretty "wisdomous."

Mike: Phoebe, you are so beautiful. You're so kind. You're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure. And I can't believe how lucky I am. And I can't wait to share my life with you forever.

Phoebe: So, what do you say?
Joey: Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope- I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Joey: Listen, I hope- I hope that you know- I don't want you to see your father cry. Go to your room!

Phoebe: Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! Hello? Okay, stop screaming! Okay, so halibut. All right, so salmon. Either way. I don't- It doesn't matter to me.
Monica: Well, it matters to me!
Phoebe: Well, I don't care. So you pick.
Monica: Did you just hang up on me?

Monica: Just subtract twelve.
Phoebe: Okay, so eighteen-hundred minus twelve is one thousand, seven hundred and eighty-eighty.
Monica: Six o'clock!

Phoebe: I'm sorry, you guys. But, you know, Mike's got his brother and his friends from school. So, you know, you were- If it helps, you were next in line. You just missed the cut.
Ross: Oh, man.
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. I mean, synchronized swimming. I mean- I mean, the balance beam. Help me.
Ross: Football!
Chandler: Thank you.

Monica: Oh, Pheebs, spit that out. That has pork in it.
Phoebe: I thought the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian?
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I sent you a fax about it.
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
Monica: Huh. Well, then there are gonna be a few surprises.

Mike: Look, about tomorrow, I've got a question for you. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had an emergency and can't make it.
Chandler: What happened?
Ross: Who cares? And?
Mike: And I was wondering if maybe one of you guys-
Ross: I'll do it!
Chandler: Me!
Mike: You both wanna do it? There's only room for one.
Chandler: Pick me. I look great in a tux, and I will not steal focus.
Ross: No, Mike. No, no, you wanna pick me. I mean- Watch.
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better. I'm gonna let her choose.
Ross: Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman.
Chandler: Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror as he is me.
Ross: Please. You're going down.
Chandler: You are going "downer."
Ross: Is that what they say on the figure skating team?
Chandler: I wouldn't know. I didn't make it.

Ross: So? What did you decide?
Phoebe: I decided to pee.
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to choose one of us to be in your wedding. One of the groomsmen fell out.
Phoebe: Oh, no, no. I can't choose between you two. I love you both so much.
Chandler: Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party.

Phoebe: But I don't wanna choose. It's- Ooh. Okay, wait. Rach?
Rachel: Yeah?
Phoebe: Listen, I have a very special bridesmaid task for you to do.
Rachel: Goody! What is it?
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Rachel: What? What, what, what? No, I don't wanna do that.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I have to find a new bridesmaid.
Ross: I'll do it!