‘The One with Phoebe's Rats’
Season 9, Episode 12 - Aired January 16, 2003
When Ross and Rachel hire an attractive nanny, they worry about Joey hitting on her. Meanwhile, Rachel is upset when Monica invites her co-worker Gavin to her birthday party, and Phoebe and Mike care for an orphaned family of rats.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Gavin, I just want to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an apology.
Gavin: For what?
Rachel: Well, when we first met, you know, I thought you were pompous and arrogant and obnoxious.
Gavin: Is this your first apology?
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate. Okay? This is a work environment. She's your subordinate.
Gavin: But it was okay when you slept with your old assistant, Tag?
Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One: I didn't know that you knew that. And two: I wasn't some creep staring at his ass.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Can you keep an eye on Joey make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
Chandler: You don't trust him?
Ross: Well, no. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny."
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Excuse me, Gavin. I have a question I need to ask you.
Gavin: Mom, I'll call you later. Yes?
Rachel: If you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look in a mirror?
Gavin: Thank God you finally said that. I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk, Gavin, from your office didn't show up.
Gavin: Yeah, I hate him.
Monica: We weren't talking about you. We were- No. No way to recover.
Quote from Rachel
Gavin: Fun party.
Rachel: Well, it was. And you would have seen it if you didn't show up at- Ugh, 9:30. God, this party was lame.
Monica: Again, you're welcome!
Quote from Monica
Rachel: Do you see what all the guys see in her?
Monica: Wouldn't kick her out of bed. No more vodka for me.
Quote from Rachel
Gavin: Gavin Mitchell's office.
Rachel: Rachel Green's office. Give me that phone. Hello, this is Rachel Green. How can I help you? Uh-huh. Okay then. I'll pass you back to your son.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: Hey, guys.
Joey: Hey. [singing] Happy Birthday-
Rachel: Ssh. Don't say that loud. Gunther's gonna want to hug me.
Quote from Ross
Rachel: Am I the only one that doesn't think she's hot? Ross?
Ross: Eh. I mean, she's not unattractive, but- But hot?
Rachel: Thank you.
Chandler: Now that Rachel's gone?
Ross: So hot, I cried myself to sleep last night.