‘The One with Joey's Bag’
Season 5, Episode 13 - Aired February 4, 1999
After Phoebe's grandmother dies, she is shocked to run into her birth father at the memorial service. Meanwhile, Rachel helps Joey discover a new fashion trend with a "man bag", and Monica is upset that Chandler doesn't like her massages.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: Don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.
Joey: You-and-I sexy?
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: Ooh! Get off! Stop it! Why are you doing that to me?
Monica: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you never do that to anyone.
Quote from Monica
Monica: See? It's no big deal.
Chandler: But now you're crying.
Monica: I'm not crying about that. I'm crying about something at work.
Chandler: What?
Monica: My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages.
Chandler: It's okay. You don't have to be best at everything.
Monica: Oh, my God. You don't know me at all!
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: Wait, I'm not saying you shouldn't have a bag. There are other bags that are maybe a little less ... controversial.
Chandler: Yeah, they're called wallets.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Chandler, look, if it hurts that bad, you should just tell her.
Chandler: For the first time in my life, I'm in a real relationship. I'm not going to screw that up by ... telling the truth.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Dude, look out. You almost crushed my hat.
Ross: Sorry.
Chandler: And the bunny got away.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Really? A purse?
Rachel: It's not a purse. It's a shoulder bag.
Joey: It looks like a woman's purse.
Rachel: No, Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are carrying them in the spring catalog. See, look.
Men carrying the bag.
Joey: See, look. Women carrying the bag.
Quote from Ross
Joey: Are you referring to my man's bag? I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. It's got compartments for your wallet, keys, address book-
Ross: Your makeup.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: Joey, what are you doing with the bag? Your audition's not until tomorrow.
Joey: Yeah, but sandwich time is right now.
Quote from Ross
Joey: Relax, I'll pay you with the money from the job acting job I'm certain to get thanks to you.
Ross: What's the part? Auntie Mame?