Chandler: Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. Then tomorrow, you get to have Christmas in your own houses. Which, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Ken: You can come to my house.
Chandler: [chuckles] No, thanks.

Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough we're working New Year's Eve. Did I not tell anyone about New Year's Eve?

Monica: So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?
Chandler: Well, no, it's just me and Wendy.
Monica: Wendy? That sounds like a girl's name.
Chandler: It is. Did I not tell you about her?
Monica: Mm-hmm. About the time you told me about New Year's Eve.

Rachel: I love it.
Ross: Really? You're not gonna return it?
Rachel: Well, not this second.

Joey: Look at that. That's a Christmas miracle.
Monica: What are you doing here?
Chandler: I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.
Joey: Hey, hey. Who'd you miss the most?
Chandler: Monica.
Joey: Gotcha.

Chandler: Why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he really wants to do?
Rachel: Well, what do you really wanna do?
Chandler: I have not thought this through.

Chandler: Here, pass those around.
Ross: "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet." How did you know?
Rachel: What? Are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: I thought it was time we started thinking about other people. And besides, this gift still says, "I love you guys."
Joey: Mine says, "To Lillian Myers."
Chandler: I don't have a job.

Chandler: Actuary? No. Bookkeeper? No. Topless dancer?

Monica: Where's everybody else?
Chandler: I sent them home.
Monica: You are such a good boss. Is she pretty?
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Ross: Answer faster. Answer faster.
Chandler: I don't know.
Ross: Answer better. Answer better.

Joey: Wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?
Monica: What?!
Chandler: Well, she didn't win.