Previous Episode Next Episode 
The One with All the Candy

‘The One with All the Candy’

Season 7, Episode 9 -  Aired December 7, 2000

Monica tries to get to know her neighbors better by making candy for everyone in the building. Meanwhile, Ross buys Phoebe her first bicycle, and Rachel's relationship with Tag is nearly revealed at Ralph Lauren.

Quote from Monica

Woman: Please, I have people coming from out of town today. I told them all about your candy.
Monica: You're kidding. Out-of-towners, huh? What did you tell them?
Woman: I told them your candy was absolutely indescribable.
Monica: Some people have said it's "little drops of heaven." But whatever.


Quote from Ross

Ross: Hey, there's some people outside asking about candy.
Monica: Well, they're just going to have to wait, okay? I only got two hands!
Ross: Need some help?
Monica: No, you don't know the system. I don't need nobody messing with the system!
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding, you may not see a lot of me.

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: It'd be like you having this guitar and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played. And this bike wants to be ridden. And if you don't ride it you're killing its spirit. The bike is dying.
Phoebe: All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
Ross: Great. You're making the bike very happy.
Phoebe: Okay, Ross. [quietly, to the bike] Please don't die!

Quote from Rachel

Mr. Zelner: So, I read your evaluation of Tag. Or, to use his full name, Tag "Sweet Cheeks" Jones? Is something going on with you two?
Rachel: Oh, my God, can you imagine if there was? I mean, what would happen exactly?
Mr. Zelner: Well, I'd be forced to file a report. I'd have to consult with the legal department. And your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
Rachel: Well-
Tag: Mr. Zelner, I'm the one who filled in that evaluation.
Rachel: Oh, no-
Tag: Yeah, yeah. I thought it would be funny.
Mr. Zelner: You wrote that you have a cute tushy?
Tag: Yes. I have a weird sense of humor. And I'm kind of strangely proud of my butt.
Mr. Zelner: It's kind of a risky joke, Tag. And what is this drawing? I can't figure out what this is.
Rachel: You're looking at it upside down, you gotta- It doesn't matter.
Mr. Zelner: It's not like I don't have a sense of humor. Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick every now and then. But there's a time and a place, huh? Unless you have a limerick right now. No? Okay. Well, you've got my fax number.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: What is going on?
Guy: We're waiting for the candy. Bring out the candy!
Joey: Yeah, lady, give us candy.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Are you okay?
Monica: I'm fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. Someone slipped a threatening note under the door.
Joey: Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever. I don't know.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: I can't believe it. I did it. I rode a bike. I never thought I'd be able to do that. Thank you, Ross.
Ross: Oh, hey, don't thank me. Thank yourself. You're the one who faced your fears and ultimately overcame them.
Phoebe: Don't be so corny, Ross. It's not an After School Special.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, Rach? That sketch you mentioned? Might it have looked a little something like this?
Rachel: Oh, my God, Joey!
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
Joey: Well, I tell you, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: I never had a bike of my own.
Ross: What?
Phoebe: Well, we didn't have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike.
It was pink and it had rainbow-colored tassels hanging off the handles and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on.
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. My dad gave me his old one.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Monica: Making holiday candy for the neighbors.
Chandler: I'm sorry, who?
Monica: I'm gonna hang a basket on the door. Then when the neighbors walk by, they can all take a piece.
Chandler: But we don't know the neighbors.
Joey: I do. There's, let's see, the guy with the mustache, smokes-a-lot lady, some kids I've seen and the red-haired guy who does not like to be called Rusty.

 First PagePage 3