‘The One with a Chick and a Duck’
Season 3, Episode 21 - Aired April 17, 1997
Pete offers Monica a job in his new restaurant, but she is hesistant to take it if he's still got a crush on her. Meanwhile, Ross skips an important engagement to take care of Rachel, and Joey and Chandler adopt a baby chick and a duck.
Quote from Monica
Ross: Hey, you guys. Guess what?
Rachel: You got a job on a riverboat?
Ross: You know what, I didn't wear this suit for a year, because you hated it. Well, guess what. You're not my girlfriend anymore, so...
Rachel: Oh, I see. This suit is making a point. Now that you're on your own, you're free to look as stupid as you'd like.
Ross: You like it, right?
Monica: Absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Monica, I am so excited for you. I have to tell you something.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Well, I can't tell you.
Monica: But wouldn't it be easier to tell me something that you could tell me?
Phoebe: Well, sure, in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldn't tell, and I swore to, like, all my Gods.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Phoebe, would you just tell me?
Phoebe: I can't.
Monica: All right, I gotta go.
Phoebe: But you're so close.
Monica: Does it have something to do with Pete's computer company?
Phoebe: Just go. You're never going to get it.
Quote from Joey
Joey: I gotta change. I'm meeting some of the cast for drinks.
Chandler: Excuse me?
Joey: What?
Chandler: I stayed home while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick.
Joey: Hey, who was up from 2:00 this morning until 5:00 trying to get her back to sleep?
Chandler: You don't think I get up when you get up?
Joey: Oh, here it comes.
Chandler: Yes! Here it comes. I'm stuck here all day. And then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well, I don't think so, mister.
Joey: Hey, I need to relax, okay? I was working all day.
Chandler: And you don't think taking care of our chick is work?
Joey: That's not what I said. I just meant-
Chandler: I know what you meant. Did you notice that ever since we got this chick we've been fighting a lot more than we used to?
Joey: I don't know, maybe we weren't ready to have a chick.
Chandler: I'll take her back tomorrow.
Joey: You think we'll get our $3 back?
Quote from Chandler
Joey: How's she doing?
Chandler: She?
Joey: Well, yeah, don't you think it's a she?
Chandler: I don't know. [picks up the chick, blows air] I can't tell. Whatever it was went back in too quickly.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: So whose idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Monica: Some idiot customer put a suggestion in the suggestion box.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. They took my idea.
Monica: That was you?
Quote from Chandler
Joey: You know, with that goatee, you kind of look like Satan.
Chandler: Oh, so that's why the priest threw holy water on me.
Quote from Ross
Ross: I'm gonna be on TV.
Chandler: No way.
Ross: Yeah, they're putting together a panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channel's going to film it.
Chandler: Oh, my God. Who's gonna watch that?
Ross: Thanks.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? I was watching this commercial on TV, and, man, those things are cute!
Quote from Monica
Monica: Wow, you're a lot sturdier than Chandler. He crumbled like a piece of paper.