Chandler: All right, I'd like to propose a toast. A little toast here. Ding, ding! I know this isn't exactly the Thanksgiving all of you planned but for me, this has been really great, you know. I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking if you'd gone to Vail, or if you guys had been with your family, or if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together. So, I guess what l'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Phoebe: That's so sweet!
Rachel: Thank you.
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas!
Rachel: And a crappy New Year!

Rachel: Terry, I know I haven't worked here very long but would it be possible if I got a $100 advance on my salary?
Terry: An advance?
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. You see, every year we go skiing in Vail, and my father pays for my ticket. But I've sort of started this independence thing, which is actually why I took this "job".
Terry: Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart! You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful.
Rachel: Okay, I hear what you're saying. I'm with you. But I'm trying really hard, and I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee?
[Hands go up all over the coffee shop]
Guy: Yeah, over here.
Rachel: Look at that.

Monica: And Phoebe you're going to be with your grandmother.
Phoebe: Yeah, and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December because he's lunar.

Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can hear everything.
Ross: Really?
Phoebe: I can show you. Okay, this'll seem a little weird. But you put your head inside this turkey and then we'll all talk and you'll hear everything we say.
Chandler: I'd just like to say I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.

Monica: Joey, you're going home?
Joey: Yeah.
Monica: And, Chandler, I assume you're still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays?
Chandler: Yes, every single one of them.

Monica: Why? Because everything's my responsibility? Isn't it enough that l'm making dinner? Everyone wants a different kind of potato, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? No! No! No! You know, just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots. It's my first Thanksgiving, and I- It's all burnt, and I can't. [high-pitched wailing]
Chandler: Hey, Monica, only dogs can hear you now.

Rachel: Excuse me, sir? Hi. You come in here all the time. Do you think there's a possibility that you could advance me my tips?

Phoebe: What were you modeling for?
Joey: You know those posters for the City Free Clinic.
Monica: Oh, wow. So you're gonna be one of those healthy, healthy, healthy guys?
Phoebe: You know, the asthma guy's really cute.

Monica: I tell you what, how about I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's.
Ross: Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps?
Monica: You know they're not actually supposed to- I'll work on the lumps.

Ross: Well, l'm off to Carol's.
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, why don't we invite her?
Ross: Ooh, ooh, because she's my ex-wife and will probably want to bring her ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.