‘The One Where Rachel Is Late’
Season 8, Episode 22 - Aired May 9, 2002
As Rachel grows increasingly frustrated that she's late, she's willing to try anything to induce labor. Meanwhile, Joey invites Chandler to his film premiere, and Phoebe and Monica bet on when Rachel's baby will be born.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Hey, Sleeping Beauty.
Chandler: Where have you been? I want to talk to you. I still feel so bad.
Joey: Oh, no. Were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
Quote from Joey
Joey: So how much do I owe you?
Chandler: What?
Joey: Give me a number. I don't want to owe you anything.
Chandler: You don't owe me anything. I don't want your-
Joey: Ah, ah, ah. We're doing this. Okay, now, you got me my first set of headshots. How much were those?
Chandler: I don't know, $500.
Joey: Okay, $500. What else?
Chandler: Well, then there was the second set. The infamous "booger" headshots.
Joey: Okay, so that's another $500. That's 500 and 500. That's-
Chandler: Do you want a calculator?
Joey: Please.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Come on, finish your enchilada.
Rachel: Ross, we've tried all the spicy food. It's not working.
Ross: Okay, here, have one of these peppers. Oh, God. So hot. Oh, my God. By the way, you don't want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Ross: Stop it.
Rachel: Come on, Ross. Why are we wasting time with all this other stuff? We know it's gonna work. It's doctor-recommended.
Ross: I'm sorry. But we have to have some boundaries. My God, I'm dying.
Rachel: Come on, Ross. We've done it before. We'll do it again. It'll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.
Ross: This is insane. I'm not gonna make love to you just so you'll go into labor.
Rachel: Make love? What are you, a girl?
Ross: Always a great way to get into a man's pants.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: You will be performing a service. Just think of me as, like, a ketchup bottle. Sometimes, you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. You're right. That's not sexy. Oh, whoops. Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bend over and get it. Oh, God!
Ross: Okay, enough. This is not going to happen.
Rachel: Come on, Ross. I am miserable here. Come on, you started this, now you finish it! Come on, wuss. Make love to me.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: Okay, I got the pillow. I got the bag. You got the keys?
Rachel: I got the keys. Okay. Okay. We're having a baby.
[Ross and Rachel kiss]
Rachel: I didn't really have time to read this part of the books, so do you think we have time?
Ross: Not so much.
Rachel: Okay, let's go.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: All right, stop it. Double or nothing she has it tomorrow.
Phoebe: Fine. Until then, General Grant, why don't you set up camp right there?