Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, I'll blow in her mouth and the kid'll just [popping sound] right out of her.

Rachel: All right, whose turn is it to help me get up?
Phoebe: No one's here. Oh, damn it!

Ross: Do you want to go change first? The doctor's staying open late for us, but if you hurry-
Rachel: No, I'm fine.
Ross: Really? You don't think that's a little inappropriate?
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Good God, man. Don't anger it.
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am-
Ross: Fine. Fine. Whatever you want. Okay. You're the mommy.
Rachel: No. Nuh-uh-uh, pal. Don't call me "Mommy." It's bad enough that you call your own mother that.
Monica: I'm actually with her on this one.

Rachel: Hi, Dr. Long. How are you?
Ross: You're nice to her.
Rachel: She has the drugs.

Chandler: Don't go. I'm so sorry. Look, this guy fell asleep. He fell asleep too. Be mad at him. Or call an ambulance.

Monica: Any news on when the baby will come?
Rachel: No, but she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor.
Ross: Yeah, we tried them all. We went for a walk, we tried special tea, castor oil, spicy food. Nothing worked.
Rachel: Well, there is one thing we didn't try. But someone thinks that that will open up a can of worms.
Monica: Well, what is it? What is it? If it's gonna help bring the baby here, like today, I think you should do it.
Ross: It's sex.
Monica: Do it!
Ross: Monica.
Monica: I'm just saying. It's been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it. Get yours.

Phoebe: Oh, I don't know about that. No, I think if the two of you had sex, the repercussions would be catastrophic.

Monica: All right, let's be practical. If Ross isn't willing to do it, he's not the only guy you can have sex with. You could borrow Chandler. Chandler is good.
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?

Monica: I just want the baby to be born today.
Rachel: Why? Why today?
Monica: Okay, fine. I keep betting Phoebe that you're gonna have the baby, and I don't want to lose again.
Ross: What? While she's been going through this hell, you've been making money? You're betting on your friend staying in this misery?
Rachel: I'll take that bet.
Ross: What?
Rachel: I'm miserable here. I may as well make some money out of it.
Ross: Can I get some of that action?
Monica: Wait a minute. Now I'm betting against all three of you?
Rachel: Honey. Don't worry about it. I really do feel like tomorrow it's gonna happen.
Monica: Oh, okay.
Rachel: [mouths] No way.

Joey: Okay, what else? Rent.
Chandler: Okay. Two, three years of rent, utilities, food-
Joey: Okay. Okay, so I'm writing you a check for... So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal, right? How do you clear this thing?