Monica: This is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Chandler: Yeah?
Monica: Listen, I've been doing some thinking and I don't know whether it's because we're here or Rachel's giving birth, but I think we should try to have a baby.
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: What's that now?
Chandler: Okay. I've been thinking about it too and I think we're ready.
Monica: What? Are you kidding? You think we're ready to have a baby, now?
Phoebe: Oh, this is fun.

Marc: I'm sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.
Rachel: Oh, that's very- Really, very, very okay.
Marc: Julie's cervix is dilated seven centimeters. That's about four fingers. Doctor let me feel it myself.
Julie: Have you felt Rachel's cervix, Ross?
Rachel: No, I don't want-
Ross: We won't be doing that.
Julie: Well, if you like, you could feel Rachel's, then feel mine to compare.
Judy Geller: Am I interrupting?
Ross: Yes. Thank you!

Judy Geller: This is your grandma's engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Ross: Mom, no. Come on. Thank you-
Judy Geller: Just hear me out-
Ross: No. No. Okay? We've been through this. We're not going to get married just because she's pregnant, okay?
Judy Geller: Honestly, Ross, this isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
Ross: Mom, you know what? I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry.
Judy Geller: Just think about it. If you don't, I'll talk more about humping.
Ross: Give me that.

Monica: So we're gonna try? I mean, we're trying?
Chandler: We're trying to get pregnant. [Chandler and Monica kiss] You know what, I'm not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So when do you want to start trying?
Monica: All right, hold on a sec.
Chandler: Period math?
Monica: Yeah. Well, we could start trying now.
Chandler: Right here?
Monica: No, not here. Maybe here.
Chandler: Wait a minute. It's perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and we're in a building that's full of beds.
Monica: And it's so clean!

Joey: Come on, you stupid machine! Come on!
Phoebe: Aww. It ate your money?
Joey: No.

Phoebe: I broke my leg once too.
Cliff: Oh, yeah? How did yours happen?
Phoebe: It's a long, embarrassing story. Let's just say, there was a typographical error with a sex manual.

Woman: Oh, oh, oh!
Doctor: Oh, my. We're going to have to take you straight to the delivery room.
Rachel: Oh, for the love of God!

Phoebe: What else? What else?
Joey: Well, he's 33.
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Joey: A widower.
Phoebe: Oh.
Joey: He seemed like a standup guy.
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Joey: Oh, and he's not into anything weird sexually.
Phoebe: Enter Pheebs.

Nurse: This room's available.
Rachel: Okay. Wait, you listen to me. You listen to me. Since I have been waiting, four women. That's four - one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated - have come and gone with their babies. I'm next. It's my turn. It's only fair. And if you bring in one more woman and she has her baby before me, I'm going to sue you. Not this hospital. I'm gonna sue you. And my husband, he is a lawyer.
Ross: Rach?
Rachel: You get back on that case, honey!

Janice: So, congratulations you two. I didn't even know you got married.
Rachel: Oh, we didn't.
Ross: No, no.
Janice: What?
Ross: We're just having this baby together, but that's all. You know?
Janice: Why?
Ross: Uh, well, we're just not in that place, you know? But we're very excited about this.
Janice: Oh. Well, then shut me up. [laughs]
Rachel: Just tell me how.