Ross: Say, would you mind checking again to see if any private rooms may have opened up?
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Rachel: Okay, you know what? I have to say I don't really care for your tone. And this is not the only hospital in the city. And we have no problem to- Whoa. Oh, gosh.
Ross: What, what?
Rachel: Contraction. Ow, ow, ow. Ooh, ooh.
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Rachel: Yeah, it couldn't hurt to look.

Monica: This is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Chandler: Yeah?
Monica: Listen, I've been doing some thinking and I don't know whether it's because we're here or Rachel's giving birth, but I think we should try to have a baby.
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: What's that now?
Chandler: Okay. I've been thinking about it too and I think we're ready.
Monica: What? Are you kidding? You think we're ready to have a baby, now?
Phoebe: Oh, this is fun.

Marc: I'm sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.
Rachel: Oh, that's very- Really, very, very okay.
Marc: Julie's cervix is dilated seven centimeters. That's about four fingers. Doctor let me feel it myself.
Julie: Have you felt Rachel's cervix, Ross?
Rachel: No, I don't want-
Ross: We won't be doing that.
Julie: Well, if you like, you could feel Rachel's, then feel mine to compare.
Judy Geller: Am I interrupting?
Ross: Yes. Thank you!

Judy Geller: This is your grandma's engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Ross: Mom, no. Come on. Thank you-
Judy Geller: Just hear me out-
Ross: No. No. Okay? We've been through this. We're not going to get married just because she's pregnant, okay?
Judy Geller: Honestly, Ross, this isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
Ross: Mom, you know what? I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry.
Judy Geller: Just think about it. If you don't, I'll talk more about humping.
Ross: Give me that.

Monica: Since when are you so crazy about babies?
Chandler: I'm not crazy about babies. I'm crazy about us.
Monica: What?
Chandler: Well, we've always talked about having babies someday. I'm not saying it has to be right now, but I'm starting to think that we can handle it. We're good. We're really good.
Monica: We are pretty good.
Chandler: But nothing has to happen until you're ready.
Monica: Well, maybe I'm ready now. I mean, it's a little scary, but maybe it's right.
Chandler: What? It's not right! We're not ready to have a kid now!
Monica: What?
Chandler: I'm kidding. This is gonna be fun.

Monica: So we're gonna try? I mean, we're trying?
Chandler: We're trying to get pregnant. [Chandler and Monica kiss] You know what, I'm not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So when do you want to start trying?
Monica: All right, hold on a sec.
Chandler: Period math?
Monica: Yeah. Well, we could start trying now.
Chandler: Right here?
Monica: No, not here. Maybe here.
Chandler: Wait a minute. It's perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and we're in a building that's full of beds.
Monica: And it's so clean!

Joey: Come on, you stupid machine! Come on!
Phoebe: Aww. It ate your money?
Joey: No.

Phoebe: I broke my leg once too.
Cliff: Oh, yeah? How did yours happen?
Phoebe: It's a long, embarrassing story. Let's just say, there was a typographical error with a sex manual.

Woman: Oh, oh, oh!
Doctor: Oh, my. We're going to have to take you straight to the delivery room.
Rachel: Oh, for the love of God!

Cliff: I'm 33.
Joey: Okay. And are you married?
Cliff: No.
Joey: Oh, really? So 33 and single? Would you say you have commitment issues?
Cliff: Are all the questions this personal?
Joey: Yes.
Cliff: Well, if you must know, I'm a widower.
Joey: Oh, that's terrible. I'm really sorry.
Cliff: Yeah.
Joey: Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
Cliff: No.
Joey: Excellent. Excellent. And finally, are you into any weird stuff, you know, sexually?
Cliff: No!
Joey: Ooh. Wrong answer.