Chandler: She is going to recognize that I did a nice thing and appreciate it.
Ross: Huh. Actually, you know, this will work out well. Because when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come live with me.

Chandler: She's gonna kill me.
Ross: The phone was facing the other way. And that goes back up there.

Joey: No, no, no. I've seen it happen. You get a rapport going with a woman, but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret?
Ross: Look, we do not repel women, okay? That is completely untrue.
Chandler: Oh, yes, we do, my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance, and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine?
Ross: Yeah? Well, what about you? You weren't so hot in college either. After everything he said, he'd go [mimics drum fill].
Chandler: Yeah, Monica doesn't like that either. Maybe I should stop doing that.

Rachel: Well, it's embarrassing. People were looking at us like we were crazy.
Phoebe: Why do you care?
Rachel: Because they're people.
Phoebe: But people that you don't know and will never see again.
Rachel: Yes, but still they are people with eyes.

Chandler: Okay, is this lamp in the right place?
Ross: Who cares? I repel women.

Chandler: No, no, no, no, no. You can't come in here. Ross is naked.
Monica: What?
Ross: What?
Chandler: I couldn't say that I was naked, because she's allowed to see me naked.
Ross: Why does anyone have to be naked?

Monica: Why is everything different?
Ross: Bye.
Chandler: I don't see anything different. Other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it.

Chandler: Okay, don't be mad, okay? But after I unpacked the boxes, I wanted to do something nice for you, so I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around, and then I forgot where it went back. I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Monica: That's okay. Chandler, are you afraid of me or something?
Chandler: Do you want me to be afraid of you?
Monica: Of course not. My gosh, Chandler, what you did is a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place.
But I would never expect you to worry about that.
Chandler: Really?
Monica: Of course.
Chandler: Oh, you're the best. You come here to me.

Monica: All right, first things first. Okay, now, did Ross sit anywhere while he was naked?