‘The One Where No One's Ready’
Season 3, Episode 2 - Aired September 26, 1996
Ross is infuriated as he struggles to get his friends ready to attend a speech he's giving at the museum. Monica is obsessing over her break-up with Richard, while Joey and Chandler argue over a chair.
Quote from Ross
Ross: You guys, you know what? It doesn't matter. You both have to go get dressed before the big vein in my head pops.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called, "Get up!"
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: [on the answering machine] "Hey, it's me, I'm coming over. What if I'm already there when you play this message?" Is that too spooky?
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: You know what? Don't get up. Just sit there. I just hope you don't mind my hand right here. Not touching. Can't get mad! Not touching. Can't get mad! Not touching. Can't get mad!
Quote from Rachel
Ross: I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.
Rachel: That was a Halloween costume. Unless you would like me to go as Little Bo Peep.
Ross: Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way, Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Where's my underwear?
Ross: Come on, you took his underwear?
Chandler: He took my essence!
Ross: Okay, hold on. Joey, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: Because I'm not wearing any underwear now.
Ross: Okay. Then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
Joey: It's a rented tux, okay? I' m not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
Quote from Joey
Chandler: Then somebody's gonna have to give somebody back his cushions.
Joey: Okay. You hide my clothes, I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.
Chandler: What are- What, are you gonna show me my clothes?
Joey: Hey, opposite is ... opposite.
Chandler: He's got nothing.
Quote from Joey
Answering Machine: You have two new messages.
Joey: Wow. What a cool job. "You have two new messages. Please pass the pie."