‘The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance’
Season 6, Episode 4 - Aired October 14, 1999
After Joey injures himself just as his health insurance lapses, he is forced to take an acting job while in agony. Meanwhile, Ross begins teaching a class at NYU and adopts an English accent to impress his students, and Rachel discovers Ross's secret.
Quote from Phoebe
Ross: Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer. It's only temporary, but if they like me, it could lead to a full-time job. How great would that look on the mailbox? Professor Geller.
Phoebe: Yeah, Professor and Mrs.
Rachel: And Mrs?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, you know, you and Ross are still married.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Just kidding.
Rachel: Oh, God. Could you imagine?
Phoebe: Saved your ass.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: [in an East Indian accent] Yes, yes, Bombay is very, very nice this time of year.
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: What's going on?
Chandler: Well, Joey's got a really bad hernia, but it's nothing a little laser eye surgery won't fix.
Quote from Ross
Ross: How weird is that? You know, you're moving in with me and you have the one thing I don't have. It's like, in a way, you complete me... huh? Kitchen.
Rachel: What?
Ross: You complete me kitchen, matey.
Quote from Phoebe
Chandler: Hey, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Well, you know that psychic I see?
Chandler: Yeah.
Phoebe: She told me that I'm gonna die this week, so I'm kind of bummed about that.
Chandler: What?
Phoebe: Yeah. And I know you guys don't know a lot about psychic readings, but that is pretty much the worst one you can get.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: You don't believe her, do you?
Phoebe: I don't know. She said that I would have triplets, but she also said one of them would be black.
Quote from Phoebe
Chandler: Just out of curiosity, did she tell you how you're going to go?
Phoebe: No, because she didn't tell me I was going to die till the very end of the session. And I was not gonna waste a whole other hour there. I mean, I've only got a week left. I've really gotta start living now. [Phoebe sits back and opens a magazine]
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Why don't you open with a joke?
Ross: Open with a joke? It's a university, not a comedy club.
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone. You're not talking about Chuckles University?
Quote from Chandler
Ross: I don't even know why I bothered to even talk to you guys about it. You know, I'm just gonna do it on my own, with no naked chicks.
Chandler: That's the way I did it till I was 19.
Quote from Joey
Chandler: You got something from the Screen Actors Guild.
Joey: Ooh, it's probably a residual check. Can you open it? I got-
Chandler: "Benefits lapsed."
Joey: That's weird. I don't remember being in a movie called Benefits Lapsed.