‘The One Where Everybody Finds Out’
Season 5, Episode 14 - Aired February 11, 1999
When the group notice that Ugly Naked Guy is moving out, Ross decides to try get his apartment. As Rachel and Phoebe join Ross on a tour of the apartment, Phoebe is horrified to see Chandler and Monica hooking up across the street. After learning that Rachel and Joey already know about the secret relationship, Phoebe suggests they have some fun at Chandler and Monica's expense.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: You are so cute. How did you get to be so cute?
Chandler: Well, my grandfather was Swedish. And my grandmother was a tiny little bunny.
Monica: Now you're even cuter.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: You know, that is a popular opinion today, I must say.
Monica: What?
Chandler: The weirdest thing happened at the coffeehouse. I think Phoebe was hitting on me.
Monica: What are you talking about?
Chandler: I'm telling you, I think Phoebe thinks I'm foxy.
Monica: It's not possible.
Chandler: Ow.
Monica: I'm sorry, it's just, Phoebe's always thought you were charming in a sexless kind of way.
Chandler: Oh, well, you know, I can't hear that enough.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: I just think you misunderstood her.
Chandler: I didn't misunderstand, okay? She was all over me. She touched my bicep, for crying out loud.
Monica: This bicep?
Chandler: Well, it's not flexed right now.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: Hey, Mon, what are you doing right now, you want to come see a movie with us?
Monica: Actually, I was going to do some laundry. Hey, Chandler, you want to do it with me?
Chandler: Sure, I'll do it with you.
Rachel: Okay, great. Hold on a second. Uh, here you go. You don't mind, do you? That would really help me out a lot. Thanks.
Monica: You know what? I don't think I have enough quarters.
Phoebe: Oh, I have quarters!
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: What? You actually thought that basket was going to get you the apartment?
Ross: Well, yeah. Someone sent us a basket at work once, and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.
Chandler: Your work makes me sad.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Oh, man, I want that place so much. And I was so sure that was going to work. There's 12 bucks I'll never see again.
Quote from Joey
Chandler: Phoebe knows about us.
Joey: Well, I didn't tell them.
Monica: Them? Who's "them"?
Joey: Uh, Phoebe .... and Joey.
Quote from Joey
Monica: Joey!
Joey: And Rachel. I would have told you, but they made me promise not to tell.
Chandler: Oh, man.
Joey: I'm sorry. But it's over now, right? You can tell them you know they know, and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Unless-
Joey: No. Not "unless". This must end now.
Monica: Oh, they think they are so slick messing with us. But they don't know that we know that they know. So...
Chandler: Ah, yes. The messers become the messees!
Quote from Ross
Ross: That is a great idea. And I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for, like, five years. So that gives me back my edge.