‘The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath’
Season 8, Episode 13 - Aired January 17, 2002
As Joey is driven crazy by his feelings for Rachel, Chandler and Monica get the impression he's infatuated with Phoebe. Meanwhile, Rachel and Ross debate names for their baby, and Chandler takes a shine to baths.
Quote from Monica
Monica: I swear if you try it, you will love it.
Chandler: All right. If I do this, can we at least discuss balcony sex?
Monica: Absolutely. But I know how that discussion's gonna go.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: I don't think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, Little Ruthie Geller? How cute is that?
Rachel: Oh, my God, I can practically hear the mahjong tiles.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Hello?
Chandler: I'm in the bathroom. Can you come in here? I think there's something wrong.
Monica: You know what? I think I'll wait out here.
Chandler: I'm in the bathtub.
Monica: Oh. Hey, what's wrong?
Chandler: I drew a bath, but I did it wrong. The water's tepid, the salt didn't dissolve and is now lodged places. And the scents I used don't compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomile? Oh!
Monica: What?
Chandler: The bath salts. They're starting to effervesce. It's different. It's interesting.
Quote from Monica
Phoebe: You guys?
Monica: Just a minute. That's Mrs. Tribbiani.
Chandler: You don't say anything.
Monica: Why would I say anything? So that two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives? And they would have me to thank. And then we could all start having babies.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Hey, Monica, I brought back your iron.
Monica: Oh, you had that? I thought I lost it. I got a new one, like, a month ago.
Phoebe: Oh, just as well. I broke this one.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Somebody likes you.
Phoebe: Ugh. Is it Chandler?
Monica: No!
Phoebe: Then tell him to stop staring.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Unless ... you anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl. And you really do want her to be named Ruth. Well, I'm not falling for that. Okay? Ruth is off the table.
Rachel: But, Ross, you want the name Ruth.
Ross: Not like this!
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Crushes happen all the time. I know I've had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And I'm sure you've had them for us.
Joey: Not really.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Throw me a bone here.
Quote from Monica
Chandler: Do I smell essential oils?
Monica: I'm gonna take a bath. I was gonna get a magazine. What do you think you're doing?
Chandler: Leaving my troubles behind?
Monica: I know that you're new at this, but this is completely unacceptable bath decorum.
Chandler: It's so hard to care when you're this relaxed.
Monica: Fine. You can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now you're just a girl in a tub.