‘The One That Could Have Been (Part 1)’
Season 6, Episode 15 - Aired February 17, 2000
The gang ponders what might have been if Ross and Carol had stayed together, Monica was still heavy, Chandler had become a struggling writer, Joey still worked on Days of our Lives, Rachel had married Barry, and Phoebe had taken a job as a stockbroker.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Go. Who's this? Oh, you're gonna like working for me. What's your name? What kind of name is Brindy? I, uh- Whatever. Stop talking. All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: No, there was a little, little dip in the market and I lost $13,000,000.
Chandler: But the Kit Kats are all right?
Phoebe: What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? I can't call my office, they'll kill me. I can't call my clients, they'll kill themselves. All right, now my chest hurts.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: My chest hurts. Ugh. And now, I can't breathe.
Chandler: Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?
Phoebe: Well, if I were, would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm?
Monica: Yes.
Phoebe: Then, yes. That is what I'm having. [Phoebe takes another puff on her cigarette]
Quote from Phoebe
Ross: Come on, Pheebs, it's not that bad. Most people would be excited if they didn't work for two weeks.
Phoebe: Most people don't like their jobs. I love my job. I've been not working for three hours, and I'm already going crazy. I miss Joan.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die. But you're not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Let's take a walk. Maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine.
Quote from Joey
Joey: What do you say we head back to my place?
Rachel: You know, I would really love to, but I shouldn't.
Joey: Why? Why can't the world stop turning? Just for a moment. Just for us.
Rachel: Isn't that a line from the show?
Joey: Yeah, but I may have said those things before, but I never truly meant them until now.
Rachel: That's from the show too.
Joey: Okay, you watch too much TV.
Quote from Joey
Chandler: Here you go, Joe. Here's the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for.
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, there's pulp in that.
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: I thought we talked about this. I don't like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isn't juice. All juice. Okay?
Chandler: I'm sorry. I guess I just like the pulp.
Joey: Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I am being so rude. Rachel, would you like a soda or something? Because Chandler will run right out and get it.
Rachel: Yeah, well, sure, iced tea would be great.
Joey: Iced tea.
Chandler: Okay. Anything for you, sir?
Joey: Did I not just tell him? Okay, look, Chandler, if this is gonna work you have got to listen. You're gonna throw that juice at me?
Chandler: It's not all juice.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Chandler, I know you're mad. I'm sorry. I was a total jerk. Completely over the line. I just ... I hate pulp. I mean, you know how Monica feels about low-fat mayonnaise?
Monica: It's not mayonnaise!
Quote from Joey
Joey: Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and here.
Chandler: What's this?
Joey: Fresh squeezed orange juice, with pulp. Just the way you like.
Chandler: Thanks, man.
Monica: Hey, Joey? Chandler sold a story to "Archie Comics."
Joey: Oh, my God. That's great. Congratulations. What's the story?
Chandler: Oh, you wouldn't care. It's just a stupid comic book story.
Joey: Are you kidding me? I love Archie and the whole gang.
Chandler: Well, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy. But he doesn't want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assist- -as his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things, like bring him milk shakes that can't have lumps in them.
Joey: Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar. Did they already do that one? Because I think I read it.
Quote from Rachel
Monica: It's not like I haven't had the opportunity. I mean, I'm just waiting for the perfect guy. See, I'm seeing this guy, Roger. He's not perfect, but I'm thinking maybe I should get it over with. You know, give him my flower.
Rachel: Oh, my God, do it. Honey, you've waited long enough.
Monica: You know what? You are right.
Rachel: Yes. Sex does not have to be a big deal. There shouldn't be all these rules and restrictions. You know, people should be able to sleep with whoever, whenever-
Monica: Rachel. I'm never going to think it's okay for you to cheat on your husband.
Rachel: Oh, what do you know, virgin?