Ross: Which brings us back to Greely's Theory of Dominance. [bell chimes] That's it for today.
Oh, does anyone know where the Freeman Building is?
Student: Yeah. It's the new building on Avenue A.
Ross: What? That's all the way across town. I'm supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in about 10 minutes.
Student: Ooh, dude, that's not gonna happen.
Ross: Move it! Move it! Move it! Hey! I'm the teacher!

Ross: Maybe I can help. Whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. You know, actually, once I got dumped during sex.

Gunther: Here's your warm milk.
Ross: I'm gonna put the bourbon in it at home.

Ross: Come on, finish your enchilada.
Rachel: Ross, we've tried all the spicy food. It's not working.
Ross: Okay, here, have one of these peppers. Oh, God. So hot. Oh, my God. By the way, you don't want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.

Ross: Worse comes to worst, we can always reconsider the first one we met with.
Rachel: What, the blond with no bra?
Ross: She was blond?

Tanning Salon Guy: You're gonna face the red light. When the red light goes on, the spraying's about to start, so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five, pat yourself down to avoid drip marks, then turn so we can get your back. Got it?
Ross: Spray, count, pat and turn. Spray, count and pat.
Tanning Salon Guy: Wow. You catch on quick.
Ross: Well, I have a Ph.D., so...