Rachel: You know what, honey? Guys are just different. They like things that we can't understand. You know, I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend that he was an archaeologist, and I was this naughty cavewoman who he unfroze from a block of ice.
Monica: Ew. Are you talking about my brother?
Rachel: Yeah, I didn't disguise that very well, did I?

Joey: Look, I don't normally ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses.
Gunther: Pah.
Joey: Gesundheit. But-
Hayley: I would love to go out with you.
Joey: Really? Great. Did l- Did I actually ask you?
Hayley: Oh, that's just where you were going. I figured I'd help you out. You don't seem like the kind of guy who does this a lot?
Gunther: Pah!
Joey: Seriously, Gunther. You should see someone about that cold. If it gets much worse, you could die.

Ross: You're so much better off. You just go from guy to guy having fun and not worrying that it never turns into anything serious.
Phoebe: I wouldn't say "never." You know, there is that guy. Okay, well, what about..? Okay, well's there's gotta be someone.
Ross: There isn't. That's what I'm saying.
Phoebe: Oh, my God, you're right.
Ross: I know. And yet, here you are, all ready for the next date.
Phoebe: I can't believe I never realized this before. I'm in my 30s, and I've never been in a long-term relationship. Oh, my God, what's wrong with me?
Ross: There's nothing wrong with you. I mean, you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway.
Phoebe: I want to get married.
Ross: No, please- Please don't cry because of me. Pheebs, I don't know what I'm talking about, okay? I've been divorced three times.
Phoebe: Well, at least you've been married. Oh, my God. I want to trade lives with Ross?!