Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Monica: Anyway, it just doesn't seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay, it's a lot of work.
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving. I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like Fourth of July with no apple pie. Or Friday with no two pizzas.
Monica: Fine, if it means that much to you. But there's gonna be a ton left over.
Joey: No, there won't. I promise I will finish that turkey.
Monica: All right. You're telling me you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?
Joey: That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani. This is what we do. I mean, we may not be great thinkers or world leaders. We don't read a lot or run very fast. But damn it, we can eat!

Joey: So?
Doctor: She's fine. She was experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions. Mild discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall.
Rachel: Hmm. Mild discomfort? I take it you've had one of these Braxton thingies?

Joey: Or...
Chandler: And here we go.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was this door and nobody knew what was behind it. And when they finally got it open, millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. You know, it wouldn't kill you to respect your wife's privacy! Stupid closet full of bugs!

Joey: What are you doing?
Chandler: Monica has a secret closet and she won't let me see what's in it.
Joey: Why not?
Chandler: I don't know. What could she possibly be hiding in here that I can't see?
Joey: I don't know. Ooh, I'll bet it's Richard.
Chandler: Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here?
Joey: Well, off the top of my head maybe she's having her cake and eating it too. You being the "cake," Richard being the "too."