Dr. Green Quote #11
Waiter: Your '74 Lafite, sir.
Dr. Green: '74? I ordered the '75. That's a magnificent wine. The '74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage? Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why you're a waiter?
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldn't wait on you tonight.
Dr. Green: Oh, come on. Don't be such a baby.
Quote from Ross
Mona: How could you have kept all of this from me?
Ross: I was going to tell you, but-
Dr. Green: But what? You figured you'd get what you wanted and then you'd dump her, like you did Rachel.
Ross: Hey, I did not dump Rachel. Nor are we still together. [phone rings] Can l--? Why don't we just let the machine get that.
Joey: [on the answering machine] "Hey, Ross. It's Joey. There's a hooker over here and we thought maybe you'd know something about it."
Ross: No! No! No! No! I need to lie down.
Quote from The One with the Two Parties
Monica: Dr. Green. Oh, my God. It's Rachel's dad. Why are you here?
Dr. Green: What, the father can't stop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
Monica: No, no, the father can. But since I am the roommate, I can tell you she's not here. And I'll pass along the message. Okay? So bye-bye.
Dr. Green: Oh, you're having a party.
Monica: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. This is Phoebe, Chandler and Joey.
Dr. Green: I'll never remember all that. So what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it?
Chandler: This isn't your first surprise party, is it, sir?
Quote from The One with the Race Car Bed
Dr. Green: You know what's really good here? The lobster. What do you say, shall I just order three?
Ross: Yeah. If you're really hungry. It was a joke. I made a joke.
Rachel: Actually, Daddy, Ross is allergic to lobster.
Dr. Green: What kind of person's allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works in a library.
Ross: It's not-
Dr. Green: I know. It's a museum! You're the only who can make a joke? At least mine was funny. Waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. [gestures apologetically]