Ross Quote #239

Quote from Ross in The One Where Joey Moves Out

Ross: Dad, you really don't want to do that.
Jack Geller: Come on, what's a little midlife crisis between friends?
Richard: Jack, would you let it go?
Jack Geller: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50, I got the Porsche. You, you got your own little speedster.
Richard: Guys. Seriously, it's not like that.
Jack Geller: Tell you what. Maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I could-
Ross: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence!
Jack Geller: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.

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 ‘The One Where Joey Moves Out’ Quotes

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush but we can use the same soap?
Chandler: Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.
Joey: All right, well, next time you shower think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.

Quote from Judy Geller

Monica: Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome. And he's sweet, and I know you'd like him.
Judy Geller: Well, that's wonderful. [turns around to see Monica close to Richard] Ay.
Monica: Mom, it's okay.
Richard: It is, Judy.
Judy Geller: Jack! Could you come in here for a moment? Now!

Quote from Monica

Chandler: Richard's going to the party too?
Monica: He's my parents' best friend. He has to go.
Joey: So is today the day you'll tell them about you two?
Monica: Yeah, for my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.

 Ross Geller Quotes

Quote from The One with Ross's Tan

Ross: Wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall. How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? My eyes!
The same thing happened again!
Tanning Salon Guy: You got two more twos?
Ross: I'm an eight!

Quote from The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance

Ross: So without retesting their results in the laboratory, the team would never have identified the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis. Were there any questions at this point? Yes?
Student: What's happening to your accent?
Ross: [in a British accent] Come again? What's this nonsense? [laughs] All right. I'm not English. I'm from Long Island. I was really nervous, and the accent just came out. I'm sorry. So if we could just get back to the lecture. Um, were there any questions? About paleontology? All right, look, I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because I'm hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you'd just give me another chance to make a good impression-
Rachel: Ross. Are you crazy? I am still your wife? What, were you just never gonna tell me? What the hell is wrong with you? Ugh, I could just kill you!
Ross: [in a British accent] Well, 'ello, Rachel!

Quote from The One with Unagi

Ross: Danger! Danger!
Rachel: What the hell was that?
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi.
Phoebe: You're a freak!
Ross: Perhaps. Now, I'm curious. At what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
Rachel: All right, so we weren't prepared.
Ross: I'm sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but I just want you guys to be safe.
[Monica opens the apartment door to take out the trash]
Ross: Danger! [Monica walks by unfazed] Ah, huh? Unagi.