Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] It only takes two heart attacks, To finally make you see, One of them won't do it, But the second will set you free, Tell all your hate and anger, It's time to say goodbye, And that is just what I will do, Soon as those bastards I worked for die!

Ross: I'm sorry your husband cheated on you.
Rachel: And I'm sorry your wife is gay. I guess women aren't that great either.
Ross: Try telling my wife that.

Ross: Hey, Joe, did you ever have a threesome?
Joey: Look, Ross. I think Carol's great, and I'm sure you're a very attractive man, but-
Ross: No. The reason I'm asking is that, I sort of had one last night.
Joey: You?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Wow. All right. So? Was it amazing?
Ross: It was ... okay.
Joey: Just okay? Did you do it right?
Ross: Look, it's just, did you ever go to a party and think: "Would anyone really miss me if I weren't here?"
Joey: Huh. But still, Ross. Your worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day.
Ross: Oh, no. Absolutely. Yeah. It's just my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Joey: Oh. But you got to be with both of them, right?
Ross: Not really. Just Carol.
Joey: Not the other one?
Ross: No, she kept kicking me away.
Joey: Yeah, you don't want that. But hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff.
Ross: Oh, I saw a lot of stuff.
Joey: You get a little bored?
Ross: A little. Made a snack.
Joey: Yeah? What'd you have?
Ross: Just a sandwich. Turkey. A little mustard.
Joey: Sounds good.
Ross: It really was.