Joey: Since you're going to be here for a while, I was thinking we could put your name on the answering machine.
Chandler: Oh, yeah.
Ross: I hope you don't mind but I kind of already jazzed it up a little. Check it out. [Queen's "We Will Rock You" playing] We will, We will call you back.
Joey: Pretty cool. [to Chandler] You're fake laughing too, right?
Chandler: Oh, the tears are real.

Rachel: How's Ross doing since all the Emily stuff?
Monica: He's not great, but he's dealing with it. Oh, wait a minute, you're not going to try-
Rachel: Oh, honey, no. Please. I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's going to be screwed up for a long time. Besides, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Monica: Right, you only go for them five minutes before they get married.

Ross: Emily's cousin kicked me out.
Chandler: What?
Joey: Why?
Ross: Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.
Chandler: How can do that? Didn't you sign a lease?
Ross: Who needs a lease when it's [squeaky] "family"?