Friends - Joey Quote #528
Chandler: Joey? Come on, think about it. First of all, he'll never be President. I mean, there's never going to be a President Joey.
Joey: All right, look, man, I didn't want to bring this up. But Chandler is the stupidest name I've ever heard in my life. It's not a name. It's barely even a word, okay? It's kind of like chandelier, but it's not. All right, it's a stupid, stupid, non-name.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: You want a good name, go with Joey. Joey's your pal, your buddy. Where is everybody? They're hanging out with Joey.
Chandler: You know what? If you're going to do that, if you're going to name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. Oh, come on, Chandler's funny, he's sophisticated, and he's very lovable once you get to know him.
Joey: Joey's lovable too. But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, he'll be there.
Chandler: Chandler will be there, too. I mean, he might be a little late but he'll be there. And he'll bring you some cold soda if what you need him for is that you're really hot.
Quote from Ross
Chandler: Hi. You're crazy. Okay, this is Emily. Emily is straight.
Ross: How do you know? I mean, we thought Carol was straight before I married her.
Phoebe: Yeah, definitely. I don't like the name Ross.
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when I'm down.
Phoebe: No, I meant for the baby.
Ross: Oh. What's wrong with Ross?
Phoebe: It's just that something like this would never happen to The Hulk, you know.
Ross: Actually, that's not true. In The Incredible Hulk, number 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found- You know. Never mind. My girlfriend's a lesbian.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Any word from Susan?
Carol: She said she's having so much fun with Emily.
Ross: By the by, did it ever occur to you that maybe they might be having a little too much fun?
Carol: What's too much fun?
Ross: The kind of fun you and Susan had when we were married.
Carol: Oh, my God! You are so paranoid.
Ross: Am l?
Ross: Am l?
Quote from The One After Vegas
Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!
Quote from The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A "moo" point?
Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
Quote from The One with Joey's Bag
Joey: But it is odd how a woman's purse looks so good on me, a man.
Rachel: Exactly. Unisex!
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Rachel: No. No, Joey. U-N-I sex.
Joey: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.