Joey: You want a good name, go with Joey. Joey's your pal, your buddy. Where is everybody? They're hanging out with Joey.
Chandler: You know what? If you're going to do that, if you're going to name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. Oh, come on, Chandler's funny, he's sophisticated, and he's very lovable once you get to know him.
Joey: Joey's lovable too. But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, he'll be there.
Chandler: Chandler will be there, too. I mean, he might be a little late but he'll be there. And he'll bring you some cold soda if what you need him for is that you're really hot.

Phoebe: Wow. Carol really messed you up.
Ross: Excuse me?
Phoebe: Yeah. She turned you into this untrusting, crazy, jealous ... sycophant! All right, so I don't know what "sycophant" means, but the rest is right.

Ross: Any word from Susan?
Carol: She said she's having so much fun with Emily.
Ross: By the by, did it ever occur to you that maybe they might be having a little too much fun?
Carol: What's too much fun?
Ross: The kind of fun you and Susan had when we were married.
Carol: Oh, my God! You are so paranoid.
Ross: Am l?
Carol: Yes.
Ross: Am l?