Joey: No, wait. You don't understand. I'm an actor. Joey Tribbiani. I'm doing a scene with you today. And I stink!
Charlton Heston: You're in this picture?
Joey: Yeah, I'm one of the cops who won't work with you because you're a loose cannon. Anyway, look, I'm really sorry. But I stink.
Charlton Heston: Joey, right?
Joey: Yeah.
Charlton Heston: Every actor, one time or another- Every actor thinks he stinks. Even Laurence Olivier sometimes thought he stank. Bob Redford won't even watch himself.
Joey: No, no, no. You don't understand.
Charlton Heston: Listen to me.
Joey: Oh, yeah.
Charlton Heston: I don't know one actor worth his salt who, one time in his career, didn't say, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there. First take, I stunk the place up.
But the important thing, and you must remember, no matter how badly you think you stink you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?
Joey: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'm very sorry.
Charlton Heston: Wait a minute! Take your pants.
Joey: Yeah.

Monica: How did it go last night?
Rachel: Well, I didn't see Joshua. But I did punch a girl in the face.
Phoebe: What? Why?
Rachel: Well, the whole night was horrible. It was pouring down with rain. And when I got there there was no Rachel Green on the list. But there was a Rachel Greep.
Phoebe: Wow. So did you get to meet her?
Rachel: No, there is no Rachel Greep. But then this other girl overheard us. And she was all, "I'm Rachel Greep! I'm Rachel Greep!" And he let her right in.
Monica: So you hit her in the face?
Rachel: No, she was already in. But then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her.

Rachel: Emily. I'm Rachel Green.
Emily: Thank goodness.
Rachel: There's been a teeny, teeny change of plans. It turns out I'm not free tonight, so-
Emily: Really? Well, that's just lovely. Isn't it? I must've missed your call, even though I didn't leave the flat all day.
Rachel: Well, l-
Emily: No, no, no. That's not rude. It's perfectly in keeping with the trip where I've been run down by one of your wiener carts and been strip-searched at the airport. Apparently, to you people I look like someone who's a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
Monica: I think you look great.
Emily: Good night. It was very nice to meet you.
Rachel: I'll get her.
Ross: Please, hurry.