Phoebe: Do you think they have yesterday's Daily News?
Monica: Why?
Phoebe: I just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right.

Jay Leno: [on TV] Don't take this wrong, I just don't see you as a mom. I don't mean that in a bad-
Nora Bing: [on TV] Oh, no. I'm a fabulous mom. I bought my son his first condoms.
Chandler: And then he burst into flames.

Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have got to tell you, I have read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Nora Bing: Oh, please, honey. Listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in 30 euphemisms for male genitalia and, bam, you have got yourself a book.
Chandler: My mother, Iadies and gentlemen.