Chandler Quote #458
Quote from Chandler in The One with the Chicken Pox
Chandler: Joey, I'm just saying, if you need something to hold you over I can get you a job here as an entry-level processor.
Joey: But don't you need experience like this?
Chandler: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you don't know what you're doing, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
Friends Quotes
‘The One with the Chicken Pox’ Quotes
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Look, Joey. I'm sorry. I realize this is the role of a lifetime for you and if I could just fire Joseph, I would. But unfortunately that's not possible. So I'm going to have to let both of you go.
Joey: What are you talking about? Everybody loves Joseph.
Chandler: I don't. I hate Joseph. Okay, I think he's a brown-nosing suck-up.
Joey: Oh, yeah? Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why? Because he's not in your department.
Chandler: All right, okay. All right. So I can't fire Joseph but I can sleep with his wife.
Joey: Not Karen!
Chandler: Yeah, I'm thinking about having an affair with her. You know what? I just did.
Joey: Oh! What the hell are you doing to me, man?
Chandler: Oh, it's not me. It's my character! Chandie. Yeah, the rogue processor who seduces his coworkers' wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler.
In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer!
Joey: Really?
Chandler: No, freak show, she's fictional.
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: Oh, Chandler, Mon, there's only one banana-nut muffin left.
Monica: I ordered mine first.
Chandler: Yeah, but I'm so much faster.
Monica: Give it to me.
Chandler: No.
Monica: Give it to me!
Chandler: Okay, you can have it. [Chandler licks the muffin]
Monica: There you go. Enjoy your coffee.
Chandler: That was there when I got here.
Quote from Phoebe
Ross: Oh, look, look. A low-budget puppet show.
Phoebe: It's such a shame you can't see what finger I'm holding up.