Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] I found you in my bed, How'd you wind up there? You are a mystery, Little black curly hair, Little black curly hair, Little black, little black, little black, Little black curly hair.

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Went to the store, Sat on Santa's lap, Asked him to bring my friends, All kinds of crap, Said all you need is, To write them a song, Now you haven't heard it yet, So don't try to sing along, No, don't sing along, Monica, Monica Have a happy Hannukah, Saw Santa Claus, He said hello to Ross, And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy, And Rachel and Chandler, [indistinct] Happy holidays, everybody!

Phoebe: Hey, Rach, you want to hear the song I'm singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
Rachel: Okay.
Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] I'm in the shower, And I'm writing a song, Stop me if you've heard it, My skin is soapy and my hair is wet, And Tegrin spelled backward is nirget.

Stephanie: [playing guitar and singing] Smelly cat, smelly cat, What are they feeding you?
Phoebe: No, no. I'm sorry, it's: [singing] Smelly cat, smelly cat-
Stephanie: Smelly cat, smelly cat-
Phoebe: Better! Much better. Good. And you know, don't feel bad, because it's a hard song.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Phoebe: You want to try it again?
Stephanie: Yeah. From the top?
Phoebe: Okay, there is no "top," all right? That's the beauty of "Smelly Cat." Why don't you just follow me?
Phoebe and Stephanie: [playing guitar and singing together] Smelly cat, smelly cat, What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, It's not your fault-
Phoebe: Okay, that's too much. Sorry.

Rachel: Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine!
Terry: You don't clean the cappuccino machine?
Rachel: Of course I clean it. I mean, I will clean it. I mean, I will clean it.