Monica: I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: Hey, you better hope we're pregnant because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.

Phoebe: Hello?
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you.
Phoebe: Hey, Rach.
Rachel: This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep?
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Rachel: I don't care. This guy is a nightmare.
Phoebe: All right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Rachel: He's not stoned.
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
Rachel: Yeah. Four times.
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.

Joey: Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Okay.
Joey: She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Joey: Yeah. She's really into history and foreign movies. Oh, and she loves puzzles. Come on, who loves puzzles?
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. You're ruining the plan. Joey, you fixed him up with his perfect woman.
Joey: Oh, my God, you're right. Yeah. She even reads for pleasure.
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Joey: I'm not allowed to know smart women?
Phoebe: Joey?
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.