Joey: What's the matter with you?
Rachel: I thought it was Chandler.
Chandler: What?
Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!
Chandler: Sorry, my thing was in there with me.

Roger: I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
Phoebe: You're not? You see, that's why you're so great.
Roger: Actually, it's quite typical behavior when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. You know, this kind of codependent, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them. And you're all like, "Oh, define me! Define me! Love me! I need love!"

Monica: Wait! Go back to that "sibling" thing.
Roger: Well, I don't know. It's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so the sibling would feel like less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
Ross: [high-pitched squeal] That's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures.
Monica: Oh, so you think I'm a failure?
Phoebe: lsn't he good?
Ross: Yeah. No, that's not what I was saying.
Monica: You know, all these years I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you was doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better.
Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!