Phoebe Quote #67
Rachel: Why have I never tasted these before?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot, because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.
Rachel: God. Well, you're right. These are the best oatmeal raisin cookies that I've ever had.
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Rachel: I guess you don't.
Quote from Ross
Carol:The sex of the baby, Ross.
Ross: Oh. You know the sex of the baby?
Carol: So, do you want to know?
Ross: No. I don't want to know. Absolutely not. You shouldn't know until you look down there and see, "Oh, there it is." Or isn't.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Ross: Yep. You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I could find my way out of there like that!
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool. It says in some parts of the world people actually eat the placenta.
Chandler: And we're done with the yogurt.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Okay, so just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Joey: That's the rule.
Chandler: What rule? There's no rule. if anything, you owe me a table.
Joey: How did you get there?
Chandler: Well, I believe this piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delveccio.
Joey: You knew about that?
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
Quote from The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner
Rachel: Well, now that everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Phoebe: Aw. What?
Rachel: No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: It's a good toast.
Rachel: Look, will you please get her attention?
Ross: Oh. Mommy? Mother. [mouths] Sock.
Phoebe: Oh, for God's sake. Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!
Quote from The One with Rachel's Dream
Phoebe: My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant?
Rachel: Okay, we're still on that.
Monica: I didn't say your songs weren't good enough.
Phoebe: Well, then what's wrong with them? What, they don't go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
Monica: Tiny portions?
Phoebe: Yeah, well, "Excuse me. I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but I can't see it. I can't see it."
Quote from The One with Joey's Bag
Frank Buffay: Well, you know, in my defense, I was a lousy father.
Phoebe: That's your defense?
Frank Buffay: Yes, it is. I burned the formula, and I put your diapers on backwards. I made up a song to sing to you, but that made you cry even more.
Phoebe: You make up songs?
Frank Buffay: Well, no, just that one. But it was stupid. Let's see, how did it go?
[singing to the tune of "Smelly Cat"] Sleepy girl, sleepy girl, Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl, You're keeping me up-