Rachel: The bottom line, Ross, is we cannot stay married.
Ross: I don't know if that's true.
Rachel: Oh, but it is.
Ross: Okay. You know what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage-
Rachel: Oh, Ross, come on. This is not a marriage. This is the world's worst hangover!

Ross: You got off the plane. [Ross and Rachel kiss]
Rachel: I do love you.
Ross: I love you too, and I am never letting you go again.
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again. Okay, we're done being stupid.
Rachel: Okay. You and me, all right? This is it.
Ross: This is it. Unless we're on a break. Don't make jokes now.

Ross: I'm just saying. If you can't eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Rachel: I can too eat by myself.
Ross: When have you ever?
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished.
Ross: Well, certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl soup.
Rachel: Please, you inhale your food.
Ross: I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!

Rachel: Okay, Ross. Come on, let's just forget about the condoms.
Ross: Well, I may as well have!

Ross: Yeah, I- I'm just, I don't know. I don't understand ... how this happened. We used a condom.
Rachel: I know. But you know, condoms only work, like, 97% of the time.
Ross: What? What? What?! Well, they should put that on the box!
Rachel: They do.
Ross: No, they don't! [goes away and retrieves a pack of condoms] Well, they should put it in huge block letters!