Ross Quote #116

Quote from Ross in The One with Two Parts: Part 2

Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Chandler: That's nice.
Joey: That's nice.
Ross: No, no. With him. I'm on this field, and they hike me the baby. And I know I've gotta do something because the Tampa Bay defense is coming right at me.
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Ross: Right, but it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinking they can take us. And so I, uh, heh I just heave it downfield.
Chandler: What are you, crazy? That's a baby.
Joey: He should take the sack?
Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm downfield. And I realize that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there's no way I'm not gonna get there in time. So I am running and I'm running and that is when I woke up. See, I am so not ready to be a father.

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‘The One with Two Parts: Part 2’ Quotes

Quote from Joey

Joey: Oh. Have either of you ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it expensive?
Chandler: Only if you order stuff.
Joey: I'm taking Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Ross: Whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday?
Joey: When's that?
Ross: Uh, tonight.
Joey: Ugh, man, what are the odds of that happening?
Ross: You take your time.
Chandler: There it is.

Quote from Jack Geller

Ross: Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
Jack Geller: I'm not freaking out. I'm just saying if someone had come to me with the idea- Dad, Dad, Dad.
Ross: I'm talking about the whole, uh, baby thing. Did you, uh, ever get this sort of panicky, "Oh, my God, I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Jack Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Ross: No, Dad, I was just wondering.
Jack Geller: Because there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that colonial Williamsburg. How about we do that?

Quote from Jack Geller

Jack Geller: I tell you, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried-tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody'd said to me, "Here's a tomato that looks like a prune," I'd have said, "Get out of my office."

Ross Quotes

Quote from The One with Ross's Tan

Ross: Wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall. How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? My eyes!
The same thing happened again!
Tanning Salon Guy: You got two more twos?
Ross: I'm an eight!

Quote from The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance

Ross: So without retesting their results in the laboratory, the team would never have identified the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis. Were there any questions at this point? Yes?
Student: What's happening to your accent?
Ross: [in a British accent] Come again? What's this nonsense? [laughs] All right. I'm not English. I'm from Long Island. I was really nervous, and the accent just came out. I'm sorry. So if we could just get back to the lecture. Um, were there any questions? About paleontology? All right, look, I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because I'm hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you'd just give me another chance to make a good impression-
Rachel: Ross. Are you crazy? I am still your wife? What, were you just never gonna tell me? What the hell is wrong with you? Ugh, I could just kill you!
Ross: [in a British accent] Well, 'ello, Rachel!

Quote from The One with Unagi

Ross: Danger! Danger!
Rachel: What the hell was that?
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi.
Phoebe: You're a freak!
Ross: Perhaps. Now, I'm curious. At what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
Rachel: All right, so we weren't prepared.
Ross: I'm sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but I just want you guys to be safe.
[Monica opens the apartment door to take out the trash]
Ross: Danger! [Monica walks by unfazed] Ah, huh? Unagi.